Prayer

In honor of Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), a beautiful supplication prayer~
It is in Hebrew. Avinu Malkeinu means "Our Father, Our King"


It is my hope that our prayers for one another, and our understanding of human suffering can cross language barriers and all things that separate us~


May this lovely prayer bless you today~in whatever ways you understand God~


To my  friends celebrating Rosh Hashanah : Leshanah tovah tikateiv veteichateim   "May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year."

Joyful Joyful

Some music for a Thursday~ I know it's from Sister Act 2, but this is one of my favorite hymns and the way they sing this gives me chills every time I hear it.

Hope this blesses your day~

ps- As I've continued to fight off bronchitis and sinus infections these past weeks, I've found that it has upset the balance of so many of my systems-- a balance that is tentative at best most days.  Nothing horrible, yet in need of my care and attention. I have and will take some more days here trying to get rid of this acute illlness, and trying to manage my chronic condition again. I know that many of you understand the frustration and juggling act that our health can be sometimes. My postings will likely be sporatic for a bit longer, but it's my wish to get back to posting daily as soon as I am able. You are  in my thoughts and prayers~
Andrea

"Come Thou Fount" Mormon Tabernacle Choir

A very rainy, flood-warning, still-sick, trying-not-to-be-a grouch-to-the-planet  day here.  Thank you Mormon Tabernacle Choir for helping my heart to sing praises this morning!

ps-  yes, this is for you :-)

Readings and Music Reflections for Sunday

Psalm 25:1-9

1 To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. 2 O my God, in you I trust; do not let me be put to shame; do not let my enemies exult over me. 3 Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame; let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

4 Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. 5 Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.

6 Be mindful of your mercy, O Lord, and of your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. 7 Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for your goodness' sake, O Lord!

8 Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. 9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.

Matthew 21:23-32

23 When he entered the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him as he was teaching, and said, "By what authority are you doing these things, and who gave you this authority?" 24 Jesus said to them, "I will also ask you one question; if you tell me the answer, then I will also tell you by what authority I do these things. 25 Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin?" And they argued with one another, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will say to us, 'Why then did you not believe him?' 26 But if we say, 'Of human origin,' we are afraid of the crowd; for all regard John as a prophet." 27 So they answered Jesus, "We do not know." And he said to them, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.

28 "What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work in the vineyard today.' 29 He answered, 'I will not'; but later he changed his mind and went. 30 The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, 'I go, sir'; but he did not go. 31 Which of the two did the will of his father?" They said, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. 32 For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him.

Be Thou My Vision - Ancient Irish Hymn from 8th Century by 4Him

JJ Heller - What Love Really Means (Official Music Video)

The Afters - Light Up The Sky - Official Video

Tuesday Tune

Hi Folks,
Down ill again for a bit with sinus infection and bronchitis.  Hope to post some songs~
back to writing asap.
peace,
Andrea

Sunday morning song and readings

Philippians 1:21-30

21 For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which I prefer. 23 I am hard pressed between the two: my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; 24 but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. 25 Since I am convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for your progress and joy in faith, 26 so that I may share abundantly in your boasting in Christ Jesus when I come to you again. 27 Only, live your life in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that, whether I come and see you or am absent and hear about you, I will know that you are standing firm in one spirit, striving side by side with one mind for the faith of the gospel, 28 and are in no way intimidated by your opponents. For them this is evidence of their destruction, but of your salvation. And this is God's doing. 29 For he has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but of suffering for him as well— 30 since you are having the same struggle that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.

Matthew 20:1-16

1 "For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. 2 After agreeing with the laborers for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. 3 When he went out about nine o'clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace; 4 and he said to them, "You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.' So they went. 5 When he went out again about noon and about three o'clock, he did the same. 6 And about five o'clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, "Why are you standing here idle all day?' 7 They said to him, "Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, "You also go into the vineyard.' 8 When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, "Call the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.' 9 When those hired about five o'clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage. 10 Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage. 11 And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, 12 saying, "These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.' 13 But he replied to one of them, "Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? 14 Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you. 15 Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?' 16 So the last will be first, and the first will be last." 

 

Saturday call to prayer

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. " Romans 12:12

Hi everyone,
I'm finding this fall to be challenging for blog postings, not because I lack for things to say (indeed, my brain has much going around in it), but because of the physical challenges of these past weeks/months.  Was hit by a cold virus this week that quickly spread into sinus infection and bronchitis.  I appreciate your understanding and patience with this blog, (or more specifically the blog's writer!) as I know many of you understand the added challenges and frustrations of wrestling with a long-term condition and then having the ususal acute 'stuff that's going around' come up. We may be more susceptible to complications from 'simple colds, etc. ' than others; and then there's the frustration of feeling like things are just piling on top of each other.    I have more reflections about those days, but today, as promised, is prayer Saturday. 

St. Paul's words in Romans call us to patience, rejoicing and prayer. I would encourage you that particularly during those rough times in life, whether we are living with long-term illness, or are the care partner of a loved one with long term illness, because of Jesus, we do not rely on our own strength to rejoice, be patient or pray.

Chronic illness (with a dash of acute illness sometimes) has vividly reminded me of my need for a Savior.  That I cannot by my own strength do what faith calls me to do.  I fall down (or LAY down -- POTS joke!) again and again, because I do not have the strength...in any sense some days.  Friends, the great news, is that the call to pray, be patient and rejoice is not a demand...it is an invitation on behalf of  the Saving One who did rejoice, who was patient in suffering beyond all understanding, and who did pray...on our behalf, and on behalf of the whole world.  Because of Jesus, we are freed and forgiven.  Freed to act, and forgiven when we cannot or will not.

Today I invite us all to pray:

pray for all who are suffering, or suffering alongside another and finding patience very hard to come by;

pray for all doctors, and for the blessing of compassionate physicians and medical workers who are living out their calling with integrity and love;

pray in celebration for those who are rejoicing in hope-- the hope of healing, comfort or wholeness; and the hope to come of final healing, wholeness and comfort in the presence of God;

pray for those you are grateful for;

pray for those you cannot stand to be around;

pray for those needs of which you alone may be aware.

I am praying for you today, and lift my voice with yours as this blog community prays together.
peace to you today and each day,
Andrea

Sorrow and suffering

 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God."   2 Corinthians 1:3-4  NRSV

“We go through what we go through to help others go through what we went through.” ~Author Unknown

Throughout the past 18 years, I've been given the privilege to see that while some of my own experiences at times have been very difficult, they have also shaped me to view the world in a way I could have never seen before my struggles.


I think back to the countless discussions I've been honored to have with a variety of folks going through difficult circumstances. Without the softening of the soul that my own suffering had brought, I would have missed really seeing and hearing what people had to share about their lives:  their hopes, their fears, their passions, their pain...I would have missed the depth and richness of the human experience shared with another soul.

I have to be honest, there are some times, especially lately, when I feel so ill that I do not have the energy to focus on anyone else's needs.  There are also times, when I'm feeling ok, when I become selfish and choose not to listen and care for others. It is all part of the journey and part of being human. At the same time, I do believe it helps me keep moving forward to know that God can use my struggling and challenges to help others. It reminds me that no matter how my physical and emotional being has been compromised, I am still part of the Body of Christ, and the very things that I struggle with the most, are the things that can encourage others the most.



Sorrow and suffering are not things that we wish for...ever...and yet, the aftermath of these two can powerfully strengthen and soften us to hear and help bear another's pain and sorrow in the future.  The journey of chronic illness is hard, and sometimes it just plain stinks.  And yet...it can open a door to deeper understanding of others' experience, a deeper connection with others who are also on the path of life, and a deeper connection with the Lord who was, who is, and who is to come.

Lord, the world understands suffering and sorrow as things to be avoided, and yet we see in scripture that suffering and sorrow are part of the fullness of human life.  Along with joy and hope, help us to see sorrow and suffering as partners that can open up our lives in new ways, so that we can be those through whom you bring blessing to others.  Amen.

Still Not Just a River- Denial part 2

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Psalm 23:4

The biggest lessons I've learned about myself are the ones I've learned the hard way... by living them. 

I think of the lessons I've learned about grief in seminary, and how I thought that the book learning and conversation was difficult.  It didn't hold a candle to standing by the bedside of my dying father, or being confronted by a colleague after I'd been acting out my anger that I hadn't worked through from another funeral.  

I think of the lessons I learned about pastoral care in Clinical Pastoral Experience at The Ohio State University Hospitals, and all the group sessions where I learned about helping people to cope with illness. It pales in comparison to yesterday's lesson...
Yesterday I was in my doctor's office.  I'd not met this doctor before, and after just a few questions I found myself bursting into tears.  He was wonderful and compassionate and understanding. 
Afterwards I contemplated what had brought about the tears, and realized that I was still having some strong emotions about being sick.  The tears had caught me completely off guard.  I thought I'd "already taken care of those emotions"  and worked through them once.  It was time for another lesson... 


Now, if this were someone else, I'd have seen easily that I had more sorting and healing to do with these emotions, but because I was seeing this from the inside, I had expected that once I'd faced these feelings, I wouldn't have to encounter them again.  If this were someone else I would never have expected them to have worked through the complex emotions already, but it is much more difficult (at least for me) to be compassionate and understanding of myself going through the difficult journeys than it is for me to encourage others.


Now, I share all this not as a pity party, but to point out something that I'd forgotten before I met my doctor yesterday-- the emotions we feel as we face Chronic Illness are emotions that we'll be facing over and over again in various forms.  Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance are part of this journey over and over again.  They do not come in neat, clean order, nor once we face them are we completely done with them once and for all. 


Emotions are an integral part of coping with chronic illness, and the emotions are often powerful, difficult, and keep coming up as we keep moving forward.  Just because I'm the 'trained professional' and expect myself to know how to cope with all the emotions doesn't mean I get the easy way out.  The emotions are there from the various losses we face in Chronic illness, and they'll come out one way or another. 


Continuing to feel anger, or denial that things are different, or bargaining or feeling depressed are all normal parts of this journey for both the chronically ill person and for the family members. Things have changed drastically and the reality can be very hard.  We may try to put on a resolved, brave, strong face to protect others or ourselves, but at the heart of what we face, chronic illness is difficult and it is long-term. 


Our coping can be complicated by others' comments, and our own desire for things to go back to the way they used to be.  Psychologically I am sure there are good reasons why the coping is cyclical and we have to do these steps more than once, but all I know is that this is the way it works.  Coping with the emotions of chronic illness in ourselves or our loved ones is something we face in layers like an onion (or an ogre* ;-)


All of this today is to say that, whatever you may be facing today, whatever might be stirred up in you because of your experience or a loved one's experience with chronic illness, it is not strange or abnormal...it is not something that you "should have already gotten over", nor is it a sign of weakness when those emotions come flooding back. It is the way this path works.

But that's not all-- there is also the hope-filled reality that we are not alone. There are others who support and pray for us, and encourage us.  There are those who the Lord places in our lives who may surprise us by their support (like my doc) and who, by their understanding and care allow us to also reach again a place of acceptance and peace. That's another part of the cycle that comes around too-- acceptance.  It gives us the breathing space to take the necessary steps forward in the journey and it gives us the courage and resilience to face the cycle of other emotions when they come.

Dear Lord, there are times in this journey when we find ourselves in tears of grief, or in a place of anger and lashing out, or in a place of withdrawl or denial.  Whenever we are in these difficult places, O Lord, remind us that you still walk beside us.  Bring us your peace, comfort and love that we may have the ability to receive acceptance, ake one more step in this journey.  Amen.

*from the movie Shrek

Strong Enough To Save scripture and music

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ ³⁶And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. ³⁷A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. ³⁸But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ ³⁹He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. ⁴⁰He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ ⁴¹And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’
Mark 4:35-41 NRSV

Hi everyone,
Here's a scripture and music devotion to start your Monday.

Thank you for your patience this past week.  The Iron treatments continue, and I continue to have difficult symptoms along with them... I will try to post as much as I'm able.  I've missed being here very much, and really need to keep posting for my own sake and encouragement.  Thank you for visiting this blog, and I pray that today's words and music may encourage, inspire and comfort you.
peace,
Andrea

A short break

Hello everyone,


I apologize for not posting earlier today.  Recently I've started a series of IV Iron treatments in hopes of increasing my iron stores in my bones (depleted most likely by the Celiac's) and in hopes of decreasing my fatigue. I've had 2 of 6 treatments, and the reaction to the IV the week following the treatment is not easy for my system, although I hear that after 3 or 4 it gets much better. 


In any case, I've had several pretty difficult days in a row and while I"m hoping to feel better soon, I need to take a break from posting for a couple of days. You all know that, while you can keep going on some level most of the time, there are also times when you feel so rotten you have to just take it easy for a bit. I'm at that point.


My hope is to be posting again by the weekend...and then we'll take it as we take all of our days in this chronic illness wilderness....one day at a time.  Thanks for your understanding and patience.  Please know you all are in my thoughts and prayers, even when I'm unable to post.


see you soon~
peace,
Andrea

Dare you...

"If anyone is in Christ they are a new creation, the old has passed away, behold the new has come."

I first heard the following song on a car commercial, and found it really intriguing....When I heard the whole thing, I found it inspiring, especially over the past couple years when I was having  days where getting up and moving was just plain hard.  My hope on this Labor Day Monday, is that it might encourage and inspire you to be who you are, that new creation that God has made you to be...right now...today.  I dare ya :-)

Blessings~
Andrea

Sunday Scripture and Song Devotion time

Psalm 119:33-40
33 Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes, and I will observe it to the end. 34 Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart. 35 Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. 36 Turn my heart to your decrees, and not to selfish gain. 37 Turn my eyes from looking at vanities; give me life in your ways. 38 Confirm to your servant your promise, which is for those who fear you. 39 Turn away the disgrace that I dread, for your ordinances are good. 40 See, I have longed for your precepts; in your righteousness give me life.

Saturday call to prayer

"Let my prayer rise before you as incense, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice"


As I come to this day's post, several things are in my mind:  an encounter with a woman at the clinic yesterday while I was getting an IV; an encounter with an old friend at the vet's office while I was getting pet stuff; and something someone had written on another blog a while ago regarding prayer lists and concerns.

The woman at the clinic humbled and graced me with her wisdom as she shared her story while receiving chemo. I listened, and then silently put her mentally on my prayer list that the chemo would shrink the cancer. 

My friend at the vet's office filled me in on her 3 year old son's condition, which they had only diagnosed in the last month or so, and for which he is now receiving therapy. She explained that this therapist was an answer to prayer as her boy was finally coming out of his shell and being a 3 year old boy. Her husband had called to explain that earlier that afternoon while she was at work their boy poured Hershey's syrup on the hardwood floor, then proceeded to "lap" it up like one of the dogs.  She told me the story with a combination of laughter and tears, as she was thrilled her boy was doing imagination play, and was sad that it took this long for her boy to be able to play, and hear stories, and talk as he should.  (she wasn't upset about the chocolate at all-- "wipe it up" and give that boy a hug!")

Finally, the blogger I mentioned shared frustration at what seemed the absurdity of some of the prayer requests he'd been receiving-- like, my neighbor's uncle's toe infection, and the like.  I understood what the person was saying in the blog, but also pondered what they said. My conclusion was that this person may have never had to experience long term illness for themselves, or in someone they loved, or they were having a really, really rotten day. In all fairness, I could see myself writing something like that before I started this chronic illness journey three years ago. 

Since then, my approach to prayer has been changed drastically-- it is much more earthy, and all across the board when I pray in an intercessory way (for other's needs).  There have been times in my life over the past three years that I simply had no clue how to pray for myself or for what a loved one was facing.  Things are not neat and tidy when you come to PTSD, or Depression, or Chronic Fatigue, or MS, or Lung Cancer, or POTS, or Arthritis, or really any other long-term health issue...and that doesn't even touch the undiagnosed illnesses that people wrestle with. 

Chronic illness is messy, and sometimes the best prayer...perhaps the only prayer I have is to pray for a specific part that they need at that time, and entrust the rest of the big picture to God.  It all seems so interwoven, you know?  Perhaps my neighbor's uncle's big toe is a result of Diabetes, and while he wrestles with that part, he also has concern over many other things.

Some days, I need prayers for energy, other days for reduced pain, and others days that I won't lose hope in the face of it all-  (and then there's the prayers that I may not be a total wench to my husband and family because I don't feel well!) So when I pray for someone else, I guess I just jump in and start wherever I know there's a need--also realizing that I may only know a small part of all that they face, but, trusting that God listens, and that the act of praying, in and of itself, changes me and enriches that relationship with God and with the person I pray for.

 I would personally love to hear your comments on how you approach prayer for others, and what prayers you need on any given day.  I would be honored to pray for you...however I can.

So here's our Saturday prayer list I would like to start:

Pray for anyone that reads this blog....
Pray for anyone who comes to your mind who is facing illness or difficult times...
Pray for everyone who is a health partner to someone with illness....
Pray for all those who are in need of hope....

please add on those concerns you wish to add.


peace,
Andrea

Alive Again

When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus^* had already been in the tomb for four days. ¹⁸Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, some two miles^* away, ¹⁹and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother. ²⁰When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home. ²¹Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. ²²But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.’ ²³Jesus said to her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ ²⁴Martha said to him, ‘I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.’ ²⁵Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life.^* Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, ²⁶and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’ ²⁷She said to him, ‘Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah,^* the Son of God, the one coming into the world.’

Jesus Weeps

28 When she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary, and told her privately, ‘The Teacher is here and is calling for you.’ ²⁹And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him. ³⁰Now Jesus had not yet come to the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. ³¹The Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary get up quickly and go out. They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there. ³²When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ ³³When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. ³⁴He said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ ³⁵Jesus began to weep. ³⁶So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’ ³⁷But some of them said, ‘Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?’

Jesus Raises Lazarus to Life

38 Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. ³⁹Jesus said, ‘Take away the stone.’ Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, ‘Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead for four days.’ ⁴⁰Jesus said to her, ‘Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?’ ⁴¹So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upwards and said, ‘Father, I thank you for having heard me. ⁴²I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.’ ⁴³When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ ⁴⁴The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go.’  John 11:17-44

Yesterday, while driving, one of my favorite songs came on the radio.  As I cranked up the volume (I was alone in the truck) I listened to the words of this wonderful song.  The story of Lazarus came to mind immediately, and the image of him walking out of the grave still covered in linens started me thinking about chronic illness... (although most everything gets me pondering chronic illness...)

"I woke up in darkness, surrounded by silence, oh where, where have I gone?"  It is an eerily familiar phrase for me.  Over the past 3 years I've found myself waking up, disoriented and wondering if the real Andrea Starn could please stand up...the answer is no, she can't, but she's laying down...

It also reminded me of a hospital trip over a year ago, and of other times when I was very aware of my mortality.  In the past I just heard this song in a figurative way, but yesterday it was very real.  At least in my experience of chronic illness, these encounters with facing my own ending have not been ultimately discouraging, but motivating.  This sense of lost-ness and disorientation has also been a gift of great clarity-- an ever growing awareness that God calls me to new life every day. 

My new life doesn't look like the old one at all.  Sometimes (ok, often...especially when it's 95 degrees outside) I become frustrated and angry that my new life doesn't resemble who I was before.  New life rarely looks like the old life.

But then in the midst of it...by the Grace of God, through a song, or a sunrise, or laughter of my dear husband, or the embrace of one of our children, or a word of compassion from a friend, I remember that I'm alive again.  I might not be, but God has called me out of the grave, and I'm alive today.

The song that touched me is linked below.  May God somehow speak through it to your heart, and may you hear that call to come alive again. 

Love your neighbor-- Part 2

 “You shall love your neighbour as yourself"
Luke 22:39 NRSV

Have you ever looked at something and suddenly seen it in a new way?  It can be something that's part of your everyday life, something so familiar that you usually don't see it.  Then, one day, the light hits it in a new way and you see something you'd never seen before.

I feel that way about this scripture.  I'd heard it and preached it for years and really only saw it in one way--actually, I'd only REALLY heard a part of it-- the part that says "love your neighbor".  The "as you love yourself" part was, in my brain, just an add-on, a reference point, and not as important as the first part.

Then one day, a mentor of mine flipped my reading of this around. "What if you really treated your neighbor as you treat yourself, Andrea? How would your neighbor react if you forced them to stay up too late and get too little sleep?  What if they were stressed out, and you just kept pushing them to keep going?  What if they were hungry and you fed them food they were allergic to, and fed them non-nutritious junk?  What if they kept telling you something important about their health, and you just ignored them?" 

I got the point. My neighbor would be seriously ticked off with me, and would have something to say about it.

This passage from Luke goes on the assumption that we treat ourselves better than we treat others, yet many women and men have learned to treat others generously, at the expense of their own health and well-being.

If my neighbor had an allergy, I would do everything I could to bring them food that was nurtitious and appropriate for them.  If my neighbor messed up, I wouldn't be mean and call them stupid, or tear them down~ no!  I would be understanding, forgiving and would help them know they were vaulable.  If my neighbor were ill, I would encourage them to be gentle on themselves, and would help them out so they wouldn't push themselves...

...the exact opposite of what I often do for myself.  Caring for onesself is not selfish.  It is good stewardship, and it allows us to care for others more freely. 

I was reminded of the need to care for myself the other day when a loyal reader of this blog saw a post I made on facebook where I was lamenting being exhausted. She simply and generously reminded me that self-care is an important part of Chronic hope.  In this wilderness of chronic illness, we already have so many difficult things that we deal with on a daily basis, we don't need  to make it worse, or put more roadblocks in our way.

Today I invite you as part of your Chronic Hope journey, to flip the saying and challenge yourself to "love yourself as you love your neighbor".  What does that mean for you today?  What attitudes or actions do you routinely share with others that you may withhold from yourself? 

I challenge us all to take one step toward self care and self love today, not as a selfish thing, but so that we may more fully be able to fulfill Jesus' command to love others.

Loving God, you desire us to live in love in all ways-- with you, with others and within ourselves.  Open our eyes to attitudes today that may making loving ourself difficult, and fill us with your love in such abundant ways that it overflows into our own hearts and lives, and into the lives of others. Amen.