"Surely the Lord your God has blessed you in all your undertakings; he knows your going through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing.’ Deut. 2:7
Forty years. The Israelites traveled for 40 years after their Exodus from Egypt. In the past, as I would talk about their time in the wilderness, it was a fact, a number. In pondering their journey this morning, it strikes me differently. How did they live with moving between one land and another for so long? How did they keep going? How did they not become discouraged and quit?
I cannot imagine forty years in a wilderness journey. I am boggled by the thought of a year, or five years, or twenty years, or thirty-five years of an unknown future. And yet the Israelites' journey feels very familiar. Day after day of facing uncertainty, of dealing with the same challenges of the desert, of making the best efforts to keep moving forward...it is an exhausting journey that I never used to contemplate.
There are similarities in the journey, and also similarities in the care that God has given. Through our journeys, God is with us. On the long, dusty trails that seem to make no sense....when we're gathering our strength to just keep going, God is still with us. We do not journey on this alone. God travels with us, and has brought us together with others who travel this journey.
What keeps you going? What keeps you moving along this sometime difficult and dusty road?
Remember that you are not traveling alone. The Lord your God is with you, and so are those of us who also travel in this journey.
Lord God, as we ponder this chronic health wilderness, we see the journey of the Israelites. Help us to learn from them, and encourage us in our faith so we may find strength for the journey. Amen.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Beautiful and Good
"God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good." Genesis 1:31a
The words of yesterday's song continue to ring in my head..."You make beautiful things". From a faith perspective I believe this fully, and as I look around I see beautiful, amazing things and creatures.
On a personal level, particularly on difficult days, I feel far from beautiful or good. It tests my faith, in that there are times when, wrestling with this chronic illness, my situation seems like the exception to the rule. As if I say internally 'Yes, God made everything Good and beautiful but somehow I'm faulty'. There are things about my body and mind that don't work right at times, and I can convince myself that somehow I"m unique in my 'faultiness". Perhaps you find yourself thinking similar things at times.
It is not a big leap to get to that thinking when we live in a world where there's an illusion that everyone is 'healthy' and 'normal'. But the reality is that there is brokenness and pain in everyone's life. As a dear friend of mine says "You don't get off this planet without experiencing deep pain." She's one of the most understanding and compassionate people I know, and yes, she's walked the valleys of pain herself. As people with long-term illnesses, our pain and the brokenness of our bodies is something that can be front and center and hard to ignore. Other times we may experience remission of symptoms and the beauty and goodness is easier to see. There are also blessed days when we feel physically lousy, and yet can affirm life adn faith.
While our awareness of the pain and hurt in life ebbs and flows like the tide, our Lord is very aware of the struggles in his beautiful creation. Jesus came to show God's love to the sick and broken. "God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ Jesus died for us." It is a powerful and sometimes strange contrast-- that God made everything beautiful and good, and God also is present in those times in life where all we see is brokenness and pain.
I believe one of the gifts of this journey is the awareness of pain and struggle in our world. As we become very aware of our own struggles, we are given the gift of seeing the journeys that others take as well, and are then able to give encouragement and compassion to others. It also helps us to see the beauty and goodness of God's world shine through even more clearly.
Amazing God, help us to grow in faith and compassion on this life's journey. When we are struggling, help us not despair, but surround us with compassion and love. Amen.
The words of yesterday's song continue to ring in my head..."You make beautiful things". From a faith perspective I believe this fully, and as I look around I see beautiful, amazing things and creatures.
On a personal level, particularly on difficult days, I feel far from beautiful or good. It tests my faith, in that there are times when, wrestling with this chronic illness, my situation seems like the exception to the rule. As if I say internally 'Yes, God made everything Good and beautiful but somehow I'm faulty'. There are things about my body and mind that don't work right at times, and I can convince myself that somehow I"m unique in my 'faultiness". Perhaps you find yourself thinking similar things at times.
It is not a big leap to get to that thinking when we live in a world where there's an illusion that everyone is 'healthy' and 'normal'. But the reality is that there is brokenness and pain in everyone's life. As a dear friend of mine says "You don't get off this planet without experiencing deep pain." She's one of the most understanding and compassionate people I know, and yes, she's walked the valleys of pain herself. As people with long-term illnesses, our pain and the brokenness of our bodies is something that can be front and center and hard to ignore. Other times we may experience remission of symptoms and the beauty and goodness is easier to see. There are also blessed days when we feel physically lousy, and yet can affirm life adn faith.
While our awareness of the pain and hurt in life ebbs and flows like the tide, our Lord is very aware of the struggles in his beautiful creation. Jesus came to show God's love to the sick and broken. "God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ Jesus died for us." It is a powerful and sometimes strange contrast-- that God made everything beautiful and good, and God also is present in those times in life where all we see is brokenness and pain.
I believe one of the gifts of this journey is the awareness of pain and struggle in our world. As we become very aware of our own struggles, we are given the gift of seeing the journeys that others take as well, and are then able to give encouragement and compassion to others. It also helps us to see the beauty and goodness of God's world shine through even more clearly.
Amazing God, help us to grow in faith and compassion on this life's journey. When we are struggling, help us not despair, but surround us with compassion and love. Amen.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Beautiful Things
"then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground,* and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being." Genesis 2:7
"So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! " 2 Corinthians 5:17
Each day I listen for things that speak to my heart and may speak to your heart in this chronic illness wilderness. This is a song that will not let me go, and I am compelled to share it with you all today. It is a video of the trio singing the song. You may want to listen to it twice- once with your eyes closed to hear these powerful lyrics. Enjoy this "concert" just for you today ~
"So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new! " 2 Corinthians 5:17
Each day I listen for things that speak to my heart and may speak to your heart in this chronic illness wilderness. This is a song that will not let me go, and I am compelled to share it with you all today. It is a video of the trio singing the song. You may want to listen to it twice- once with your eyes closed to hear these powerful lyrics. Enjoy this "concert" just for you today ~
Monday, June 27, 2011
Different Perspective
"Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today." Exodus 50:20 NRSV
Today I'd like to share a poem as our devotion. It is from the Sufi poet Rumi- one of my favorite poets.
Today I'd like to share a poem as our devotion. It is from the Sufi poet Rumi- one of my favorite poets.
If God said,
"Rumi, pay homage to everything
That has helped you
Enter my arms,"
There would not be one experience of my life,
Not one thought, not one feeling,
Not any act, I
Would not
Bow to
"Rumi, pay homage to everything
That has helped you
Enter my arms,"
There would not be one experience of my life,
Not one thought, not one feeling,
Not any act, I
Would not
Bow to
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Call to prayer
"The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective." James 5:16b
So often in this territory of chronic illness we can feel powerless: powerless against unseen chemical reactions in our bodies that set forth a whole array of changes and challenges; powerless up against the unknown variables within a day; powerless in the attempt to find answers and solutions. This feeling of powerless is part of this wilderness.
As I see pictures and reports coming out of Minot, ND, I hear the feelings of powerlessness coming from those who are watching water rise around them, higher than anyone has seen there in five generations, perhaps longer. The flooding is bad...really bad.
As people who know what powerlessness feels like, and who know what the floodwaters of life can do (figuratively and literally), I believe those of us in this blog are especially empowered to be able to pray with empathy, understanding and deep compassion for the people of Minot. We know what it means in various ways to come up against circumstances that don't have easy answers. We know what it feels like to not know what will happen next. We know what it means to come to the end of our rope and have to trust that somehow, some way, the Lord who made us and redeemed us will hold us in tender care even today.
I call upon this group to pray. Pray from the depths of your understanding. Pray from your experiences. Pray the powerful prayer of intercession that people who walk the wilderness can pray. Please pray for Minot, and all who face overwhelming circumstances. Pray for each other, and even as I keep you in my prayers each day.
Righteous God, we come to you not because we are powerful, but because You are. We pray for all who struggle and are overwhelmed today and ask your comfort, strength, peace and hope to surround them. Amen.
So often in this territory of chronic illness we can feel powerless: powerless against unseen chemical reactions in our bodies that set forth a whole array of changes and challenges; powerless up against the unknown variables within a day; powerless in the attempt to find answers and solutions. This feeling of powerless is part of this wilderness.
As I see pictures and reports coming out of Minot, ND, I hear the feelings of powerlessness coming from those who are watching water rise around them, higher than anyone has seen there in five generations, perhaps longer. The flooding is bad...really bad.
As people who know what powerlessness feels like, and who know what the floodwaters of life can do (figuratively and literally), I believe those of us in this blog are especially empowered to be able to pray with empathy, understanding and deep compassion for the people of Minot. We know what it means in various ways to come up against circumstances that don't have easy answers. We know what it feels like to not know what will happen next. We know what it means to come to the end of our rope and have to trust that somehow, some way, the Lord who made us and redeemed us will hold us in tender care even today.
I call upon this group to pray. Pray from the depths of your understanding. Pray from your experiences. Pray the powerful prayer of intercession that people who walk the wilderness can pray. Please pray for Minot, and all who face overwhelming circumstances. Pray for each other, and even as I keep you in my prayers each day.
Righteous God, we come to you not because we are powerful, but because You are. We pray for all who struggle and are overwhelmed today and ask your comfort, strength, peace and hope to surround them. Amen.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Carpe Diem
" I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will bless you,
and praise your name for ever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall laud your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendour of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness,
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all,
and his compassion is over all that he has made.
All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,
and all your faithful shall bless you.
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom,
and tell of your power,
to make known to all people your* mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendour of your* kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.
The Lord is faithful in all his words,
and gracious in all his deeds.*
The Lord upholds all who are falling,
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand,
satisfying the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is just in all his ways,
and kind in all his doings.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfils the desire of all who fear him;
he also hears their cry, and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and all flesh will bless his holy name for ever and ever. " Psalm 145 NRSV
Carpe diem. When the movie "Dead Poets' Society" hit the scene in the late 80's, that phrase came back into more regular use. It is a powerful phrase-- carpe diem-- sieze the day. Being the smart aleck that I am, back in college when someone would refer to this phrase, I'd act dumb and say "Oh! I love that! Fish of the day!" As all of this came to mind this morning, I chuckled, and it got me thinking :-D...
Fish of the day has a different meaning here in the mostly land-locked Midwest than it does along the coasts. They actually have fresh catch of the day that is predictable, and plentiful. Unless you live right on one of the Great Lakes, our fish is shipped in. Fish of the day around here can mean "you take what you get".
When I go through long spells of feeling poorly, it can become easy to start believing that every day is the same, and it can also be discouraging... like having old, smelly fish every day. But once in a while in this journey there comes a day when I wake, and for some reason unknown to me, I feel good. Yep. I said it! I feel good~ (reality check: feeling good is still relative for me, as I still have pain and light-headedness and all the rest-- I don't feel like I used to, but I can still say I feel good...for me.) The day feels fresh and full of possibilities.
What do you do when you get a good day? We talk often about preparing for the rough days, but how do you approach a good day? That may sound odd, but I think to those who have often more rough days than good ones, it is a valid question. What do YOU do with a good day? Do you celebrate? Do you go about the day as usual? Do you brace yourself for what will come? Perhaps all of the above? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one.
As for me, today I will not look a gift fish in the mouth. I'm going to sieze this day to the best of my ability. That may mean doing a few more chores, or just enjoying a book that I haven't had the concentration and brain power to read for a while, or playing with the kids and dogs, or running that errand I've been putting off. Whatever I do, I'm grateful for a day that feels good--at least for now, and I'm going to sieze it and give thanks.
Lord God, you give us each day as a gift. Some days may be rough and harder to see the gift within. Other days we may feel energetic and strong and praise comes easily to our lips. Whatever we face, help us to know that today is a gift from you, and help us to see your presence in it. Amen.
and bless your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will bless you,
and praise your name for ever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;
his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall laud your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendour of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
The might of your awesome deeds shall be proclaimed,
and I will declare your greatness.
They shall celebrate the fame of your abundant goodness,
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.
The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all,
and his compassion is over all that he has made.
All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,
and all your faithful shall bless you.
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom,
and tell of your power,
to make known to all people your* mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendour of your* kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.
The Lord is faithful in all his words,
and gracious in all his deeds.*
The Lord upholds all who are falling,
and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand,
satisfying the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is just in all his ways,
and kind in all his doings.
The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfils the desire of all who fear him;
he also hears their cry, and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and all flesh will bless his holy name for ever and ever. " Psalm 145 NRSV
Carpe diem. When the movie "Dead Poets' Society" hit the scene in the late 80's, that phrase came back into more regular use. It is a powerful phrase-- carpe diem-- sieze the day. Being the smart aleck that I am, back in college when someone would refer to this phrase, I'd act dumb and say "Oh! I love that! Fish of the day!" As all of this came to mind this morning, I chuckled, and it got me thinking :-D...
Fish of the day has a different meaning here in the mostly land-locked Midwest than it does along the coasts. They actually have fresh catch of the day that is predictable, and plentiful. Unless you live right on one of the Great Lakes, our fish is shipped in. Fish of the day around here can mean "you take what you get".
When I go through long spells of feeling poorly, it can become easy to start believing that every day is the same, and it can also be discouraging... like having old, smelly fish every day. But once in a while in this journey there comes a day when I wake, and for some reason unknown to me, I feel good. Yep. I said it! I feel good~ (reality check: feeling good is still relative for me, as I still have pain and light-headedness and all the rest-- I don't feel like I used to, but I can still say I feel good...for me.) The day feels fresh and full of possibilities.
What do you do when you get a good day? We talk often about preparing for the rough days, but how do you approach a good day? That may sound odd, but I think to those who have often more rough days than good ones, it is a valid question. What do YOU do with a good day? Do you celebrate? Do you go about the day as usual? Do you brace yourself for what will come? Perhaps all of the above? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one.
As for me, today I will not look a gift fish in the mouth. I'm going to sieze this day to the best of my ability. That may mean doing a few more chores, or just enjoying a book that I haven't had the concentration and brain power to read for a while, or playing with the kids and dogs, or running that errand I've been putting off. Whatever I do, I'm grateful for a day that feels good--at least for now, and I'm going to sieze it and give thanks.
Lord God, you give us each day as a gift. Some days may be rough and harder to see the gift within. Other days we may feel energetic and strong and praise comes easily to our lips. Whatever we face, help us to know that today is a gift from you, and help us to see your presence in it. Amen.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Good stuff and bad stuff
"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." Jeremiah 29:11
This verse has been an anchor for me in the Interim ministry journey over the last dozen years. I found, early on, that congregations that go through transitions, particularly difficult transitions, have a hard time seeing the "good stuff" that is a part of them and it is all too easy in the times of loss and disorientation that come with transitions to only be able to see the "bad stuff". To me, their gifts and abilities and faith shone through brightly, especially as I considered all that they were facing. Much of my work early on in the process would be to keep pointing to hope and to promises that God had a future and a plan for them. Over time, they too would start to believe they had the gifts and talents to make it through the difficult territory.
As I sat here tonight pondering the past couple of weeks and my own journey through chronic health territory, a phrase from the movie "Pretty Woman" came to mind. Vivian had just shared some of her history and the decisions that brought her to that point in life, and she says "When people tell you enough bad stuff about yourself, after a while you begin to believe it." To which Edward replies, "I think you are a very special, very talented woman." And she responds, "The bad stuff is easier to believe."
In the territory of transitions, whether it be as a group, or as an individual going through long-term mental or physical health issues, it is challenging to keep remembering the "good stuff" about ourselves and our future. It is natural and understandable, that after a long period of difficulty on many levels (which those with chronic illness often experience-- it is RARELY a simple or easy situation, but most often complex) that even the most resilient, the most optimistic, the most STUBBORN :-) people become discouraged. After a while, the barrage of internal and external challenges can make the strongest person start to believe the "bad stuff" about themselves. All of us have Achiles' heels when it comes to things about ourselves anyway, so in the transition times, that's where the stress can wear us down.
Yet, in the middle of this wilderness journey, there comes a loving, tender voice that says to each of us "No matter what you see, no matter what you are experiencing right now, this is not the whole picture: For surely I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. "
The One who made you has not given up on you, and will never, EVER, give up on you. Jesus shows us that in technicolor.
If you are someone who cares for someone with chronic illness, a very important thing you can do when you see your loved one becoming discouraged is to remind them of the "good stuff" about themselves. Share with them what you see and appreciate, and be a cheerleader (of sorts) to help them to not believe the "bad stuff" that this journey is trying to make them believe. The physical, emotional and spiritual strain of long-term illness cannot be overestimated. It is an incredibly difficult journey that can also open up new ways of thinking, coping and being. You play a vital role in your loved ones life, and you are where you are for a purpose and a reason as well. I thank God that you are where you are and supporting and caring for those you love.
I know it is easier to believe the "bad stuff" folks, for I wrestle with it too, but that stuff isn't the whole picture by a long shot. Even now, just as we are, God has a future of hope. It can be hard to believe, and hard to see at different points along the way, but don't give up, and don't believe the "bad stuff" about you. God knows exactly who you are...and loves you dearly.
Lord of all, you see us for the broken people that we are in so many ways; you see us for the precious jewels we are with amazing gifts; you see us and know us better than we know ourselves. Help us to trust your word that you have a plan and a future for us, even now. Thank you for the people who share this journey, and for the love and support that is given. Strengthen and sustain us all. Amen.
This verse has been an anchor for me in the Interim ministry journey over the last dozen years. I found, early on, that congregations that go through transitions, particularly difficult transitions, have a hard time seeing the "good stuff" that is a part of them and it is all too easy in the times of loss and disorientation that come with transitions to only be able to see the "bad stuff". To me, their gifts and abilities and faith shone through brightly, especially as I considered all that they were facing. Much of my work early on in the process would be to keep pointing to hope and to promises that God had a future and a plan for them. Over time, they too would start to believe they had the gifts and talents to make it through the difficult territory.
As I sat here tonight pondering the past couple of weeks and my own journey through chronic health territory, a phrase from the movie "Pretty Woman" came to mind. Vivian had just shared some of her history and the decisions that brought her to that point in life, and she says "When people tell you enough bad stuff about yourself, after a while you begin to believe it." To which Edward replies, "I think you are a very special, very talented woman." And she responds, "The bad stuff is easier to believe."
In the territory of transitions, whether it be as a group, or as an individual going through long-term mental or physical health issues, it is challenging to keep remembering the "good stuff" about ourselves and our future. It is natural and understandable, that after a long period of difficulty on many levels (which those with chronic illness often experience-- it is RARELY a simple or easy situation, but most often complex) that even the most resilient, the most optimistic, the most STUBBORN :-) people become discouraged. After a while, the barrage of internal and external challenges can make the strongest person start to believe the "bad stuff" about themselves. All of us have Achiles' heels when it comes to things about ourselves anyway, so in the transition times, that's where the stress can wear us down.
Yet, in the middle of this wilderness journey, there comes a loving, tender voice that says to each of us "No matter what you see, no matter what you are experiencing right now, this is not the whole picture: For surely I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. "
The One who made you has not given up on you, and will never, EVER, give up on you. Jesus shows us that in technicolor.
If you are someone who cares for someone with chronic illness, a very important thing you can do when you see your loved one becoming discouraged is to remind them of the "good stuff" about themselves. Share with them what you see and appreciate, and be a cheerleader (of sorts) to help them to not believe the "bad stuff" that this journey is trying to make them believe. The physical, emotional and spiritual strain of long-term illness cannot be overestimated. It is an incredibly difficult journey that can also open up new ways of thinking, coping and being. You play a vital role in your loved ones life, and you are where you are for a purpose and a reason as well. I thank God that you are where you are and supporting and caring for those you love.
I know it is easier to believe the "bad stuff" folks, for I wrestle with it too, but that stuff isn't the whole picture by a long shot. Even now, just as we are, God has a future of hope. It can be hard to believe, and hard to see at different points along the way, but don't give up, and don't believe the "bad stuff" about you. God knows exactly who you are...and loves you dearly.
Lord of all, you see us for the broken people that we are in so many ways; you see us for the precious jewels we are with amazing gifts; you see us and know us better than we know ourselves. Help us to trust your word that you have a plan and a future for us, even now. Thank you for the people who share this journey, and for the love and support that is given. Strengthen and sustain us all. Amen.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Keep going
"My brothers and sisters,* whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4 NRSV
Some Winston Churchill quotes for your pondering:
"When you're going through hell, keep going."
Living, living Lord, encourage, insprie and lead us in many ways. Amen.
Some Winston Churchill quotes for your pondering:
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential”
"If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised.”
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
“Difficulties mastered are opportunities won”
“Danger - if you meet it promptly and without flinching - you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!”
“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.”
"When you're going through hell, keep going."
Living, living Lord, encourage, insprie and lead us in many ways. Amen.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Dance
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. " Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Good afternoon everyone~ Woke up this morning with a touch of stomach flu, so the few brain cells that are working today put together this combination of scripture and song. Please click the link below for Garth Brooks' song "The Dance" and his thoughts on the song at the beginning and end.
No matter what a day brings...I wouldn't have missed this 'dance' for anything~
peace,
Andrea
http://dai.ly/dwOtPF
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. " Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Good afternoon everyone~ Woke up this morning with a touch of stomach flu, so the few brain cells that are working today put together this combination of scripture and song. Please click the link below for Garth Brooks' song "The Dance" and his thoughts on the song at the beginning and end.
No matter what a day brings...I wouldn't have missed this 'dance' for anything~
peace,
Andrea
http://dai.ly/dwOtPF
Monday, June 20, 2011
The Little Things
"“Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” Matthew 25:21
The strangest things get me to ponder scripture...like clean dishes. Last night there were dishes in the dishwasher to be put away, but there were also clean dishes in the dishdrainer that needed to be put away. However, the cabinet under the counter where the dishdrainer dishes needed to go was all cluttered and needed to be re-organized....so...the clean dishes didn't get put away; the dishwasher dishes didn't get put away and the dirty dishes didn't get put into the dishwasher last night. (Follow that? :-) In this case one small step blocked another, and another. And the whole process would take more energy than I had last night.
I've learned through the past months and years, that small steps are helpful when working with chronic illness. Now, I know Jesus wasn't talking about my clean or dirty dishes when he told this parable originally, but as someone who has always seen the big picture, Jesus' words about being faithful in small things makes mre sense to me now.
I've always known that little things work together in the big picture, but when I had seemingly boundless energy I didn't pay attention to the daily "small" things. Now each small thing takes energy and I'm more aware of the step by step connections around me. One of the odd gifts of this chronic health journey has been the opportunity to see and appreciate small steps. There's a simplicity that has been important for me to embrace-- and it has touched other parts of my life: appreciating the excitement of checking our raspberry bush every day as we wait for the berries to ripen; enjoying the gentle contentment of our big dogs sleeping and snoring in the living room; seeing our children make small, yet meaningful steps in their lives; the comfort of a soft bed at night.
Since I'm a BIG picture person, the how-to of small steps doesn't come easily to me. I've learned much about how to take small steps from a woman named Marla Cilley otherwise known as The Flylady at http://www.flylady.net/
She gives a wonderful plan for approaching housekeeping chores step by step, and I highly recommend her approach. It has helped me not just with the house, but continues to teach me to approach each day, bit by bit. Faithfulness in small things, small steps in our health and activities every day can be helpful when living with long term illness.
What tips do you have for approaching the tasks of life while coping with illness? I would love to hear your comments and ideas.
Dear Lord, when daily life overwhelms and the tasks of life become too much as we wrestle with illness, help us to see small steps that we can do, and give us the patience to tackle things a bit at a time. May these lessons of patience also teach us patience with ourselves and our growth in faith. Amen.
The strangest things get me to ponder scripture...like clean dishes. Last night there were dishes in the dishwasher to be put away, but there were also clean dishes in the dishdrainer that needed to be put away. However, the cabinet under the counter where the dishdrainer dishes needed to go was all cluttered and needed to be re-organized....so...the clean dishes didn't get put away; the dishwasher dishes didn't get put away and the dirty dishes didn't get put into the dishwasher last night. (Follow that? :-) In this case one small step blocked another, and another. And the whole process would take more energy than I had last night.
I've learned through the past months and years, that small steps are helpful when working with chronic illness. Now, I know Jesus wasn't talking about my clean or dirty dishes when he told this parable originally, but as someone who has always seen the big picture, Jesus' words about being faithful in small things makes mre sense to me now.
I've always known that little things work together in the big picture, but when I had seemingly boundless energy I didn't pay attention to the daily "small" things. Now each small thing takes energy and I'm more aware of the step by step connections around me. One of the odd gifts of this chronic health journey has been the opportunity to see and appreciate small steps. There's a simplicity that has been important for me to embrace-- and it has touched other parts of my life: appreciating the excitement of checking our raspberry bush every day as we wait for the berries to ripen; enjoying the gentle contentment of our big dogs sleeping and snoring in the living room; seeing our children make small, yet meaningful steps in their lives; the comfort of a soft bed at night.
Since I'm a BIG picture person, the how-to of small steps doesn't come easily to me. I've learned much about how to take small steps from a woman named Marla Cilley otherwise known as The Flylady at http://www.flylady.net/
She gives a wonderful plan for approaching housekeeping chores step by step, and I highly recommend her approach. It has helped me not just with the house, but continues to teach me to approach each day, bit by bit. Faithfulness in small things, small steps in our health and activities every day can be helpful when living with long term illness.
What tips do you have for approaching the tasks of life while coping with illness? I would love to hear your comments and ideas.
Dear Lord, when daily life overwhelms and the tasks of life become too much as we wrestle with illness, help us to see small steps that we can do, and give us the patience to tackle things a bit at a time. May these lessons of patience also teach us patience with ourselves and our growth in faith. Amen.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Lessons We Could Teach the Bridezillas
" Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful" 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
During the hot afternoons over the past several weeks, the kids and I have taken our afternoon 'siestas' while watching the show "Bridezillas". It is a show that chronicles the activities and attitudes of some brides'-to-be and their families and wedding parties. I have to admit I can only watch one or two shows in a row, as the attitudes and behavior wear thin on my nerves.
But, I've been fascinated at the response of my children to the show as the grown women on Bridezillas throw major-league tantrums. It is heartening to hear my children comment on how immature, or selfish or simply wrong-minded the people on the show can be. A major theme is that the wedding is "all about the bride"-- "all about me and making ME happy" and the women (usually) have very strong reactions when even little things don't go the way they want.
Our kids are tweens and teens, and rightfully (developmentally speaking) are in a stage where life does seem to revolve around them and their needs. And yet through the gentle guidance of teachers, grandparents and a community of people who love and believe in them, they've been taught that life isn't only about making them happy. In fact, the compassion, understanding and care that the kids have shown during my years of illness has truly humbled me, and made me wonder if they've had to mature a bit too quickly in that regard. Unfortunately, as my husband and I have walked through navigating this chronic illness territory, so have our kids. This is a territory where tantrums really don't fly (at least not for long-- even from me ;-), and coping with the tough terrain means leaning on each other and caring for each other.
This chronic illness territory teaches the hard lesson that things DON'T always go just as we want them. I would guess that everyone reading this blog has had to face something about this journey that they didn't expect, and in all likelihood did not want. And yet, an important part of traveling this territory is learning to face and cope with what is really happening. It is hard to face reality, whether that's the reality of marriage and a new relationship or the reality that our mental and/or physical health is not what we were planning it would be.
Another lesson that chronic illness teaches is that no matter how much attention our condition requires, it is not ultimately about us. This is a tough thing for me to articulate, for often we do face procedures, tests and dr. appointments that are about us, but at the same time, the sustained energy of daily life requires us to focus on others around us as well. A number of folks with chronic illness have found that doing something to help others (however we are able) helps to bring a healthy balance and perspective to what we are facing. Even when we might have ever reason (and perhaps desire!) to make things "all about us", eventually that attitude is something that just cannot be sustained for very long. There are much more enduring attitudes and qualities that actually make our lives much more endurable and even allow us to thrive in this new territory of chronic health.
Those attitudes and qualities are some that St. Paul listed in his letter to the Corinthians: patience, kindness, generosity (not envy) humility (not arrogance or boasting), understanding and civility (not rude); selflessness and respect (not demanding own way or act resentful). The attributes that St. Paul listed in just these two sentences can help make a difference in how we travel on this road of long-term illness. The negative energies will wear out our bodies and souls and block us from being open to experiencing the blessing and grace that flows toward us every minute of every day.
Does that mean that we're NEVER selfish or arrogant or rude as people with illness, or the partners and caregivers that live with people who live with illness? Of course not! Of course there are times when we can give the Bridezillas a run for the money-- when I can slam a door with the best of them, or grumble and be snippy out of frustration and weariness. However, chronic illness can season our attitudes and behaviors in powerful ways. It places us in a position where we get very good practice at patience, kindness and all the rest of the postitive attitudes that St. Paul holds up.
Today I invite you to think of one area in your life and attitudes that chronic illness has seasoned in a positive way-- something that you had to change so that others could live with you, and you could ultimately live with yourself. What positive trait do you have now that you may not have had as fully before? How are you responding in a more mature, powerful way that you hadn't done before?
I doubt it would make it into syndication, but I suspect it would make an interesting interaction...the chronic health survivors vs. Bridezillas--- I suspect we'd have a bit to teach ;-).
Dear Lord, sometimes it takes the surprising reactions of others to help us to see our own reactions more clearly. May our time in this territory one that strengthens the best qualities you've given us. Amen.
During the hot afternoons over the past several weeks, the kids and I have taken our afternoon 'siestas' while watching the show "Bridezillas". It is a show that chronicles the activities and attitudes of some brides'-to-be and their families and wedding parties. I have to admit I can only watch one or two shows in a row, as the attitudes and behavior wear thin on my nerves.
But, I've been fascinated at the response of my children to the show as the grown women on Bridezillas throw major-league tantrums. It is heartening to hear my children comment on how immature, or selfish or simply wrong-minded the people on the show can be. A major theme is that the wedding is "all about the bride"-- "all about me and making ME happy" and the women (usually) have very strong reactions when even little things don't go the way they want.
Our kids are tweens and teens, and rightfully (developmentally speaking) are in a stage where life does seem to revolve around them and their needs. And yet through the gentle guidance of teachers, grandparents and a community of people who love and believe in them, they've been taught that life isn't only about making them happy. In fact, the compassion, understanding and care that the kids have shown during my years of illness has truly humbled me, and made me wonder if they've had to mature a bit too quickly in that regard. Unfortunately, as my husband and I have walked through navigating this chronic illness territory, so have our kids. This is a territory where tantrums really don't fly (at least not for long-- even from me ;-), and coping with the tough terrain means leaning on each other and caring for each other.
This chronic illness territory teaches the hard lesson that things DON'T always go just as we want them. I would guess that everyone reading this blog has had to face something about this journey that they didn't expect, and in all likelihood did not want. And yet, an important part of traveling this territory is learning to face and cope with what is really happening. It is hard to face reality, whether that's the reality of marriage and a new relationship or the reality that our mental and/or physical health is not what we were planning it would be.
Another lesson that chronic illness teaches is that no matter how much attention our condition requires, it is not ultimately about us. This is a tough thing for me to articulate, for often we do face procedures, tests and dr. appointments that are about us, but at the same time, the sustained energy of daily life requires us to focus on others around us as well. A number of folks with chronic illness have found that doing something to help others (however we are able) helps to bring a healthy balance and perspective to what we are facing. Even when we might have ever reason (and perhaps desire!) to make things "all about us", eventually that attitude is something that just cannot be sustained for very long. There are much more enduring attitudes and qualities that actually make our lives much more endurable and even allow us to thrive in this new territory of chronic health.
Those attitudes and qualities are some that St. Paul listed in his letter to the Corinthians: patience, kindness, generosity (not envy) humility (not arrogance or boasting), understanding and civility (not rude); selflessness and respect (not demanding own way or act resentful). The attributes that St. Paul listed in just these two sentences can help make a difference in how we travel on this road of long-term illness. The negative energies will wear out our bodies and souls and block us from being open to experiencing the blessing and grace that flows toward us every minute of every day.
Does that mean that we're NEVER selfish or arrogant or rude as people with illness, or the partners and caregivers that live with people who live with illness? Of course not! Of course there are times when we can give the Bridezillas a run for the money-- when I can slam a door with the best of them, or grumble and be snippy out of frustration and weariness. However, chronic illness can season our attitudes and behaviors in powerful ways. It places us in a position where we get very good practice at patience, kindness and all the rest of the postitive attitudes that St. Paul holds up.
Today I invite you to think of one area in your life and attitudes that chronic illness has seasoned in a positive way-- something that you had to change so that others could live with you, and you could ultimately live with yourself. What positive trait do you have now that you may not have had as fully before? How are you responding in a more mature, powerful way that you hadn't done before?
I doubt it would make it into syndication, but I suspect it would make an interesting interaction...the chronic health survivors vs. Bridezillas--- I suspect we'd have a bit to teach ;-).
Dear Lord, sometimes it takes the surprising reactions of others to help us to see our own reactions more clearly. May our time in this territory one that strengthens the best qualities you've given us. Amen.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Rest
" Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. " Matthew 11:29
It is the end of a long day...my apologies for not posting sooner. It is a day where I've been trying to keep up with some important events in our lives, like preparing a child for camp, participating in a parish festival, and getting Father's day celebrations together.
In the past, this would have been a normal day, and I'm not complaining now. It has been a mostly fun day, however, no matter how much I try to pretend I can do things like I used to, I can't. Perhaps some of you experience this too when you have events that you want to be part of, and choose to be part of because they are important to you and other people in your life.
A more challenging thing takes place when I feel I 'should' participate in things...that I should keep up my end of the deal and participate. While I'm getting better at saying no, I still find it much too easy to overdo. When you are used to keeping a specific schedule, it can be hard (even after some considerable time) to always put huge limits on our self. I find that I'm not as gentle and humble of heart as Jesus, and my own yoke upon my shoulder is not easy...
So, what to do when this happens? Forgive ourselves, and get the rest we need as soon as possible. Pray that Jesus would help us to be easy on ourselves, and teach us to find rest for our souls...and our bodies.
Dear Lord, you are more gentle and understanding to us than we often are to ourselves. Teach us your ways, so we may yoke with you and find rest for our weary bodies and souls. Amen.
It is the end of a long day...my apologies for not posting sooner. It is a day where I've been trying to keep up with some important events in our lives, like preparing a child for camp, participating in a parish festival, and getting Father's day celebrations together.
In the past, this would have been a normal day, and I'm not complaining now. It has been a mostly fun day, however, no matter how much I try to pretend I can do things like I used to, I can't. Perhaps some of you experience this too when you have events that you want to be part of, and choose to be part of because they are important to you and other people in your life.
A more challenging thing takes place when I feel I 'should' participate in things...that I should keep up my end of the deal and participate. While I'm getting better at saying no, I still find it much too easy to overdo. When you are used to keeping a specific schedule, it can be hard (even after some considerable time) to always put huge limits on our self. I find that I'm not as gentle and humble of heart as Jesus, and my own yoke upon my shoulder is not easy...
So, what to do when this happens? Forgive ourselves, and get the rest we need as soon as possible. Pray that Jesus would help us to be easy on ourselves, and teach us to find rest for our souls...and our bodies.
Dear Lord, you are more gentle and understanding to us than we often are to ourselves. Teach us your ways, so we may yoke with you and find rest for our weary bodies and souls. Amen.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Life of Praise
"Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!" Psalm 150:6 NRSV
We've talked about the difference in the 'territory' between chronic illness and our lives before chronic illness. I continue to be amazed/surprised/encouraged as I look at scripture and see that God's Word speaks to our lives wherever we are in different tones and meanings. It is an experience that reminds me often that we call the Bible God's LIVING Word, as it continues to interact and touch our lives no matter what we are facing.
In the past, I understood the word "praise" as something I would do when I was joyful. Praise was a noun- a 'thing' that I gave to God when I was grateful or happy. Going through bouts of chronic illness and the waves of physical feelings as well as emotional feelings that happen in a day, I have found it much more difficult to think of praise as a 'thing' I give to God...and even more difficult many days to actually PRAISE God. I would wait until I felt 'better' to praise God in my PCI (Pre-Chronic Illness) life.
In the past months, I've started to see praise as the verb it is. I've also started to get a glimpse that praise is a choice that we can make even when we don't particularly 'feel' like it. Recently I've also begun to sense that praise isn't just something we do, but it is something we are...something we live out with our very lives. The words of Casting Crowns' song "Lifesong" speak to that:
"Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You"
When I heard this song before I thought of active ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus, like helping the hungry or visiting the sick. One of the challenges for this brain of mine is to start seeing different ways of serving and praising God. As I ponder new ways to let my "lifesong" sing, I want to offer these thoughts: as we embrace and live the life we have today to the best of our ability, we praise God. As we do the things that help us not lose ground on our health, (but maybe don't give huge improvements) we praise God. As we rise each morning with courage to face the day no matter what it brings, we let our lifesong sing. As we look to find things to cheer and encourage us each day, we let our lifesong sing. As we pray, cry out in pain or frustration, and trust our good and bad days to God's care we let our lifesong sing.
Others may look at those efforts and not understand, but that's kind of the point, isn't it? Life with chronic illness can be more challenging and more demanding (even in the little tasks) than many people have the eyes to see. Because they can move easily, or not be completely sidelined by a weather system, or not be dropped to their knees by a nightmare, or insomnia, or a fluctuation in brain chemicals, they also may not see what an act of life and praise it can be to simply go through a day.
But God sees. God knows what challenges you and I face. God understands that taking a shower some days is more effort than we have, or that the choice between using energy for one thing over another is a real choice. God sees, and I believe that when we keep taking one more step, one more choice to care for ourselves, and when we wake up fighting illness back one more day God knows the courage, the faith and the trust it takes for us to do it, and God hears the very song of praise from our life itself. God hears the prayers and cries of frustration as we live in relationship with the God of our life, and God hears us.
How will our lifesong sing today? Can you listen for your own lifesong to God? And appreciate it? My hunch is that God hears and values our lifesong very much.
Dear Lord, as we learn to see faith and life differently in the territory of chronic illness, also help us to be open to new understandings of praising you. May our very 'lifesong' sing to you today. Amen.
ps- two video versions of Lifesong follow in case you want to hear this beautiful song.
We've talked about the difference in the 'territory' between chronic illness and our lives before chronic illness. I continue to be amazed/surprised/encouraged as I look at scripture and see that God's Word speaks to our lives wherever we are in different tones and meanings. It is an experience that reminds me often that we call the Bible God's LIVING Word, as it continues to interact and touch our lives no matter what we are facing.
In the past, I understood the word "praise" as something I would do when I was joyful. Praise was a noun- a 'thing' that I gave to God when I was grateful or happy. Going through bouts of chronic illness and the waves of physical feelings as well as emotional feelings that happen in a day, I have found it much more difficult to think of praise as a 'thing' I give to God...and even more difficult many days to actually PRAISE God. I would wait until I felt 'better' to praise God in my PCI (Pre-Chronic Illness) life.
In the past months, I've started to see praise as the verb it is. I've also started to get a glimpse that praise is a choice that we can make even when we don't particularly 'feel' like it. Recently I've also begun to sense that praise isn't just something we do, but it is something we are...something we live out with our very lives. The words of Casting Crowns' song "Lifesong" speak to that:
"Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You"
When I heard this song before I thought of active ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus, like helping the hungry or visiting the sick. One of the challenges for this brain of mine is to start seeing different ways of serving and praising God. As I ponder new ways to let my "lifesong" sing, I want to offer these thoughts: as we embrace and live the life we have today to the best of our ability, we praise God. As we do the things that help us not lose ground on our health, (but maybe don't give huge improvements) we praise God. As we rise each morning with courage to face the day no matter what it brings, we let our lifesong sing. As we look to find things to cheer and encourage us each day, we let our lifesong sing. As we pray, cry out in pain or frustration, and trust our good and bad days to God's care we let our lifesong sing.
Others may look at those efforts and not understand, but that's kind of the point, isn't it? Life with chronic illness can be more challenging and more demanding (even in the little tasks) than many people have the eyes to see. Because they can move easily, or not be completely sidelined by a weather system, or not be dropped to their knees by a nightmare, or insomnia, or a fluctuation in brain chemicals, they also may not see what an act of life and praise it can be to simply go through a day.
But God sees. God knows what challenges you and I face. God understands that taking a shower some days is more effort than we have, or that the choice between using energy for one thing over another is a real choice. God sees, and I believe that when we keep taking one more step, one more choice to care for ourselves, and when we wake up fighting illness back one more day God knows the courage, the faith and the trust it takes for us to do it, and God hears the very song of praise from our life itself. God hears the prayers and cries of frustration as we live in relationship with the God of our life, and God hears us.
How will our lifesong sing today? Can you listen for your own lifesong to God? And appreciate it? My hunch is that God hears and values our lifesong very much.
Dear Lord, as we learn to see faith and life differently in the territory of chronic illness, also help us to be open to new understandings of praising you. May our very 'lifesong' sing to you today. Amen.
ps- two video versions of Lifesong follow in case you want to hear this beautiful song.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Encouraged, even when weary...
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.
~ Galatians 6:9, NLT
This morning, just like some other mornings, I am posting a song to encourage and inspire you. If you are someone who has come here expecting a written devotion every day, and don't like the videos, I apologize. However, I have to share that the videos are a reminder (to you and me!) that this blog is written by someone who also has a long-term health battle, and knows this territory first-hand. On days like today, when the weather is changing (or days where some other variable knocks me off my feet) even getting my thoughts together for a devotion is too much. So on days like this, instead of simply leaving this space blank, I turn to what gives me encouragement, and I hope it may for you too- God's word, and music. Martin Luther is said to have commented - "Music is love in search of a word." May God's word, and the music encourage you and help you today.
Peace,
Andrea
~ Galatians 6:9, NLT
This morning, just like some other mornings, I am posting a song to encourage and inspire you. If you are someone who has come here expecting a written devotion every day, and don't like the videos, I apologize. However, I have to share that the videos are a reminder (to you and me!) that this blog is written by someone who also has a long-term health battle, and knows this territory first-hand. On days like today, when the weather is changing (or days where some other variable knocks me off my feet) even getting my thoughts together for a devotion is too much. So on days like this, instead of simply leaving this space blank, I turn to what gives me encouragement, and I hope it may for you too- God's word, and music. Martin Luther is said to have commented - "Music is love in search of a word." May God's word, and the music encourage you and help you today.
Peace,
Andrea
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Trusting When it is Hard to See
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
~ Isaiah 40:31, NLT
Two years ago this week, I was on my way from Confirmation Camp to an important meeting at an unfamiliar church. It was a 3 hour trip along Amish back-country roads, in a beautiful part of our state...except I couldn't see it. It was a cool, still, June morning, and the fog had settled into the hills. As I moved through the curving country-side, I'd come to the top of a rise, only to have the road below disappear into the mist.
I had never used a GPS system, but because I had my husband's truck, I was able to experience one for the first time. After I turned the sound off (her voice was a little unsettling at 6 am in the fog!) I began to trust that the Garmin could see farther than I was able, and could give me a clue about what lay over the next ridge. It was a grueling trip, but a safe one, and I learned much about the value of having trust in something that could see the next step when I could not.
The Bible passage from Isaiah brought to mind this early morning fog adventure. It reminded me of time in my life where the path ahead was uncertain, and yet, I was being called to move ahead for a purpose, and to trust that forward movement was possible, even though everything within me wanted to "stay put" and not take nother step.
The lesson from Isaiah is a powerful one. Being told that you will "walk and not faint" is a pretty remarkable promise to someone with Dysautonomia, as fainting is an ever-present threat for so many of us. Uncertainty about our daily health; how we will feel, how much we can do, what our limits might be that day-- is part of the landscape of chronic illness. It is like traveling an unfamiliar road in the fog. When we travel without fog, we take for granted that our movements are based upon what we can see coming up. Before I lived with chronic illness, I took for granted that I could trust my daily (and long-term) plans on what I could 'see' coming ahead. My trust was in my own perceptions and my own 'sight'.
Chronic Illness has given me the gift of having to trust outside of myself... to trust those who have survived Chronic Illness before, to trust in the people God has placed in my life who can give me an idea of how to keep moving forward, to trust that God's Holy Spirit knows and will lead me safely ahead, especially when I can't see the path unfolding in front of me. To trust that I will be led and sustained by God even when the fog of illness keeps me from seeing.
What are you experiencing today? Is today a clear day where you are able to see a bit down the road and relax a bit, or is today a pea-soup-thick day of illness blocking your view? Whatever your view is today, know that you are sustained and in the care of One who sees the path ahead clearly, and who will give you the strength and the safety to travel in His care.
Holy God, you know our paths and our days better than we do. When we get bogged down in the fog of pain and uncertainty, show us the way out. Show us your way in the midst of our disorientation. Amen.
~ Isaiah 40:31, NLT
Two years ago this week, I was on my way from Confirmation Camp to an important meeting at an unfamiliar church. It was a 3 hour trip along Amish back-country roads, in a beautiful part of our state...except I couldn't see it. It was a cool, still, June morning, and the fog had settled into the hills. As I moved through the curving country-side, I'd come to the top of a rise, only to have the road below disappear into the mist.
I had never used a GPS system, but because I had my husband's truck, I was able to experience one for the first time. After I turned the sound off (her voice was a little unsettling at 6 am in the fog!) I began to trust that the Garmin could see farther than I was able, and could give me a clue about what lay over the next ridge. It was a grueling trip, but a safe one, and I learned much about the value of having trust in something that could see the next step when I could not.
The Bible passage from Isaiah brought to mind this early morning fog adventure. It reminded me of time in my life where the path ahead was uncertain, and yet, I was being called to move ahead for a purpose, and to trust that forward movement was possible, even though everything within me wanted to "stay put" and not take nother step.
The lesson from Isaiah is a powerful one. Being told that you will "walk and not faint" is a pretty remarkable promise to someone with Dysautonomia, as fainting is an ever-present threat for so many of us. Uncertainty about our daily health; how we will feel, how much we can do, what our limits might be that day-- is part of the landscape of chronic illness. It is like traveling an unfamiliar road in the fog. When we travel without fog, we take for granted that our movements are based upon what we can see coming up. Before I lived with chronic illness, I took for granted that I could trust my daily (and long-term) plans on what I could 'see' coming ahead. My trust was in my own perceptions and my own 'sight'.
Chronic Illness has given me the gift of having to trust outside of myself... to trust those who have survived Chronic Illness before, to trust in the people God has placed in my life who can give me an idea of how to keep moving forward, to trust that God's Holy Spirit knows and will lead me safely ahead, especially when I can't see the path unfolding in front of me. To trust that I will be led and sustained by God even when the fog of illness keeps me from seeing.
What are you experiencing today? Is today a clear day where you are able to see a bit down the road and relax a bit, or is today a pea-soup-thick day of illness blocking your view? Whatever your view is today, know that you are sustained and in the care of One who sees the path ahead clearly, and who will give you the strength and the safety to travel in His care.
Holy God, you know our paths and our days better than we do. When we get bogged down in the fog of pain and uncertainty, show us the way out. Show us your way in the midst of our disorientation. Amen.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Not Abandoned, but Embraced
"I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you." John 14:18
This orphan language from John's Gospel has always touched me very much. Several people that are very dear to me, including family members, have experienced being orphaned. Adoption was a huge gift for their lives and for our lives as we were able to love and know them. Through the sharing of their experiences, I have heard the pain and abandonment that they felt. Being orphaned wasn't just an event, but a defining part of their lives, and something that shaped them in very deep and challenging ways.
Looking at this 'orphan' language from the standpoint of chronic illness, it also hits a very deep chord within me. Feeling abandoned is a very common part of the chronic illness territory. It is not unusual to feel abandonment as our lives take a major turn and we are faced with limitations and losses we never expected. We may feel abandoned by family and friends that don't really know what to do with us or how to help us as the days of illness turn into months or years. We may feel abandoned by our bodies as simple tasks such as driving an hour ( a task that we may have taken for gratned before) becomes an event for which we will have to pay for in following days. We may feel abandoned as we face disability from our life-long work, we may feel abandoned from ourselves as we find seemingly "little" things can trigger deep anger or frustration within us...things that never used to occur. We may feel abandoned by God, and wonder if anyone really understands what we are facing day to day.
Today's Gospel words come from the Crucified and Risen Lord, who himself cried out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" In the Cross of Jesus we see the Love of God active as never before, and reaching into the very deepest abyss of human existence so that never again would the suffering one be alone. In the Cross of Christ we see God come to us in our depths...not abandoning us in our darkest moments, but embracing us at the times we deserve it the least, and need it the most.
But God doesn't just meet us in our suffering, and leave us in our pain, for the Empty tomb reminds us that no matter how dark, painful and abandoned our situation, we are not alone, but are embraced by the God who can transform the worst experiences. God doesn't leave us to stagnate in our suffering, but works to move us out of the depths.
We are not abandoned by God, even when we feel most alone. Cry out to the Lord, let him know what you are feeling. And then listen to the sweet promise- you are not orphaned, but he has come to be God with us. So that we may be strengthened to stand with others in their suffering and remind them of Jesus' loving, embracing presence.
Dear Lord, in those dark nights when we feel alone, forgotten and abandoned, we call out to you. Reach out and comfort us and assure us of your presence, O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.
This orphan language from John's Gospel has always touched me very much. Several people that are very dear to me, including family members, have experienced being orphaned. Adoption was a huge gift for their lives and for our lives as we were able to love and know them. Through the sharing of their experiences, I have heard the pain and abandonment that they felt. Being orphaned wasn't just an event, but a defining part of their lives, and something that shaped them in very deep and challenging ways.
Looking at this 'orphan' language from the standpoint of chronic illness, it also hits a very deep chord within me. Feeling abandoned is a very common part of the chronic illness territory. It is not unusual to feel abandonment as our lives take a major turn and we are faced with limitations and losses we never expected. We may feel abandoned by family and friends that don't really know what to do with us or how to help us as the days of illness turn into months or years. We may feel abandoned by our bodies as simple tasks such as driving an hour ( a task that we may have taken for gratned before) becomes an event for which we will have to pay for in following days. We may feel abandoned as we face disability from our life-long work, we may feel abandoned from ourselves as we find seemingly "little" things can trigger deep anger or frustration within us...things that never used to occur. We may feel abandoned by God, and wonder if anyone really understands what we are facing day to day.
Today's Gospel words come from the Crucified and Risen Lord, who himself cried out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" In the Cross of Jesus we see the Love of God active as never before, and reaching into the very deepest abyss of human existence so that never again would the suffering one be alone. In the Cross of Christ we see God come to us in our depths...not abandoning us in our darkest moments, but embracing us at the times we deserve it the least, and need it the most.
But God doesn't just meet us in our suffering, and leave us in our pain, for the Empty tomb reminds us that no matter how dark, painful and abandoned our situation, we are not alone, but are embraced by the God who can transform the worst experiences. God doesn't leave us to stagnate in our suffering, but works to move us out of the depths.
We are not abandoned by God, even when we feel most alone. Cry out to the Lord, let him know what you are feeling. And then listen to the sweet promise- you are not orphaned, but he has come to be God with us. So that we may be strengthened to stand with others in their suffering and remind them of Jesus' loving, embracing presence.
Dear Lord, in those dark nights when we feel alone, forgotten and abandoned, we call out to you. Reach out and comfort us and assure us of your presence, O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Praise and Meditation
24 O Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom you have made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. 25 Yonder is the sea, great and wide, creeping things innumerable are there, living things both small and great. 26 There go the ships, and Leviathan that you formed to sport in it. 27 These all look to you to give them their food in due season; 28 when you give to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. 29 When you hide your face, they are dismayed; when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust. 30 When you send forth your spirit, they are created; and you renew the face of the ground. 31 May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works— 32 who looks on the earth and it trembles, who touches the mountains and they smoke. 33 I will sing to the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being. 34 May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the Lord.
35b Bless the Lord, O my soul. Praise the Lord!
35b Bless the Lord, O my soul. Praise the Lord!
Psalm 104:24-34, 35b
Sunday, June 12, 2011
A New, Suprising Thing
"When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. 2And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. 3Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability.
Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. 6And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. 7Amazed and astonished, they asked, ‘Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? 8And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? 9Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, 11Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.’ 12All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, ‘What does this mean?’ 13But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’
17 “In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.
18 Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
in those days I will pour out my Spirit;
and they shall prophesy. " Acts 2:1-18
Today is Pentecost Sunday-- Fifty days after Easter. While I was serving actively in a church, this was one of my favorite Sundays. Often, students would be confirmed in the faith on this day. In our denomination, Confirmation day is a day when young people would affirm their Baptism and become adult members of the congregation.
One of the most powerful Confirmation services I experienced happened about 15 years ago. I had the privilege of teaching a young woman who was deaf. She taught me a great deal during our two years of classes as I learned her abilities, and as she challenged me to find new ways of communicating, and explaining how God was at work in the lives of the people of the Bible and in her life.
In preparation for her Confirmation day, her parents taught me the worship service in sign language. Confirmation Sunday that year was very powerful as we heard the words of this scripture about God doing a new thing, and then we saw something new (to us) happening right before our eyes-- a worship service in silence where faith in God was being affirmed.
The Holy Spirit's work didn't just happen 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem, but continues to be at work in our lives now in unexpected ways. The Spirit continues to work around things that we see as obstacles (such as differences in languages) and continues to reach, touch and change lives through people like us who have limitations. In God's hands, limitations are really just new opportunities that we can't see yet. May this day be one of surprises and new opportunities through God's work in you and those around you.
Amazing God, help us to see that those things that are obstacles to us can be opportunities in your care. Work in and through us to open up new doors and possibilities. Amen.
Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven living in Jerusalem. 6And at this sound the crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in the native language of each. 7Amazed and astonished, they asked, ‘Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? 8And how is it that we hear, each of us, in our own native language? 9Parthians, Medes, Elamites, and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, 10Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, 11Cretans and Arabs—in our own languages we hear them speaking about God’s deeds of power.’ 12All were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, ‘What does this mean?’ 13But others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’
Peter Addresses the Crowd
But Peter, standing with the eleven, raised his voice and addressed them: ‘Men of Judea and all who live in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and listen to what I say. 15Indeed, these are not drunk, as you suppose, for it is only nine o’clock in the morning. 16No, this is what was spoken through the prophet Joel:17 “In the last days it will be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams.
18 Even upon my slaves, both men and women,
in those days I will pour out my Spirit;
and they shall prophesy. " Acts 2:1-18
Today is Pentecost Sunday-- Fifty days after Easter. While I was serving actively in a church, this was one of my favorite Sundays. Often, students would be confirmed in the faith on this day. In our denomination, Confirmation day is a day when young people would affirm their Baptism and become adult members of the congregation.
One of the most powerful Confirmation services I experienced happened about 15 years ago. I had the privilege of teaching a young woman who was deaf. She taught me a great deal during our two years of classes as I learned her abilities, and as she challenged me to find new ways of communicating, and explaining how God was at work in the lives of the people of the Bible and in her life.
In preparation for her Confirmation day, her parents taught me the worship service in sign language. Confirmation Sunday that year was very powerful as we heard the words of this scripture about God doing a new thing, and then we saw something new (to us) happening right before our eyes-- a worship service in silence where faith in God was being affirmed.
The Holy Spirit's work didn't just happen 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem, but continues to be at work in our lives now in unexpected ways. The Spirit continues to work around things that we see as obstacles (such as differences in languages) and continues to reach, touch and change lives through people like us who have limitations. In God's hands, limitations are really just new opportunities that we can't see yet. May this day be one of surprises and new opportunities through God's work in you and those around you.
Amazing God, help us to see that those things that are obstacles to us can be opportunities in your care. Work in and through us to open up new doors and possibilities. Amen.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
For the Least...
"For the least of these I will save my flock." Ezekiel 34:22
I opened my email this morning and found a devotion shared by my mother. I found it powerful and want to share it with you. Thanks for sharing this, Mom!
Hope God may speak through this and touch your heart too~
peace,
Andrea
Back in May I found some writings in Christ in Our Home that were written by a pastor of 35 years who lost his battle with cancer shortly after he submited his 15 days of devotions. I found them unusually insightful-or else he had a way of expressing them. He writes about Ezekiel 34: 22 "For the least of these I will save my flock."
"When a dog gives birth to a litter of puppies, humans are delighted to see the scramble of the little balls of fur.
Sometimes there is"runt of the litter", a puppy that gets shoved aside in its attempt to get to its mother's milk.
Our instinct is to help it out. We want it to have a shot at life, and we help it to do so.
Our instinct to help those at a disadvantage exsists because we are created in the image of God.
Through the prophet Ezekiel , God promises help for those who are downtrodden. We see God's concern in the life of Jesus who, again and again, restored broken people to wholeness, reconnected them to their community, and assured them of God's constant care.
Ezekiel and Jesus are more than stories of the past. They remind us that God is still with us. God continues to restore us when we are broken. And God's care for the downtrodden comes to life through each of us. Our words of encouragement to those who are are discouraged are sacred. Our actions that help others are holy acts.
We thank you, O God, for helping when all seems hopeless and bringing your instinct of caring to life in us.
In Jesus' name. Amen" (shared from Christ in our Home)
I opened my email this morning and found a devotion shared by my mother. I found it powerful and want to share it with you. Thanks for sharing this, Mom!
Hope God may speak through this and touch your heart too~
peace,
Andrea
Back in May I found some writings in Christ in Our Home that were written by a pastor of 35 years who lost his battle with cancer shortly after he submited his 15 days of devotions. I found them unusually insightful-or else he had a way of expressing them. He writes about Ezekiel 34: 22 "For the least of these I will save my flock."
"When a dog gives birth to a litter of puppies, humans are delighted to see the scramble of the little balls of fur.
Sometimes there is"runt of the litter", a puppy that gets shoved aside in its attempt to get to its mother's milk.
Our instinct is to help it out. We want it to have a shot at life, and we help it to do so.
Our instinct to help those at a disadvantage exsists because we are created in the image of God.
Through the prophet Ezekiel , God promises help for those who are downtrodden. We see God's concern in the life of Jesus who, again and again, restored broken people to wholeness, reconnected them to their community, and assured them of God's constant care.
Ezekiel and Jesus are more than stories of the past. They remind us that God is still with us. God continues to restore us when we are broken. And God's care for the downtrodden comes to life through each of us. Our words of encouragement to those who are are discouraged are sacred. Our actions that help others are holy acts.
We thank you, O God, for helping when all seems hopeless and bringing your instinct of caring to life in us.
In Jesus' name. Amen" (shared from Christ in our Home)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Kristian Stanfill - Always
Continuing with the Psalmist's thoughts ~ this song is full of Psalm-type imagery~ enjoy.
Click on the blue link to Kristian Stanfill's song "Always", and it will take you to Truveo.
ps- sorry for the absence yesterday...was away on a final trip with the Girl Scout troop. Many thoughts out of that trip to share...but today is about rest and recouperation ;-)
peace,
Andrea
Kristian Stanfill - Always
Click on the blue link to Kristian Stanfill's song "Always", and it will take you to Truveo.
ps- sorry for the absence yesterday...was away on a final trip with the Girl Scout troop. Many thoughts out of that trip to share...but today is about rest and recouperation ;-)
peace,
Andrea
Kristian Stanfill - Always
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Honest with God
" As a deer longs for flowing streams,
so my soul longs for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and behold
the face of God?
My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I went with the throng,*
and led them in procession to the house of God,
with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help and my God."
Psalm 42:1-6 NRSV
The writer of the Psalms knows the territory of long-term struggle very well. You can hear it in his voice, again and again: the frustration, the questions, the anger-- yet also the trust, and dependence upon God.
Living in a time where ( I was told) that you need to answer 'fine' when people question you, and when we're encouraged to gloss over the painful parts of life, the Psalmist (Likely David) comes to us with refreshing honesty about what he is facing. Here is also a wonderful honesty with God. It is like he is saying "God this is what I am going through....no one else may be willing to listen, but I need YOU to listen, God. "
David's words show the depths of his wilderness struggle, but also the depths of his trust in God. One of the odd benefits of chronic illness is that it is hard to have pretenses anymore...they take too much energy. That honesty with loved ones can be healing. At the same time, we see that God does not smote us if we're honest with God. Honesty brings a deeper, more trusting relationship--- even with God.
Today I encourage us all to be Honest with God regarding our feelings and needs, and realize that this is an opportunity to grow closer to God.
Dear God, this territory is hard, and we get weary, discouraged, angry whether we are fighting illness or helping another fight illness. Help us to grow deeper in relationship with you as we share honestly with you what we are experiencing today, and assure us that you want to support and care for us in all parts of our life. Amen.
so my soul longs for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and behold
the face of God?
My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I went with the throng,*
and led them in procession to the house of God,
with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help and my God."
Psalm 42:1-6 NRSV
The writer of the Psalms knows the territory of long-term struggle very well. You can hear it in his voice, again and again: the frustration, the questions, the anger-- yet also the trust, and dependence upon God.
Living in a time where ( I was told) that you need to answer 'fine' when people question you, and when we're encouraged to gloss over the painful parts of life, the Psalmist (Likely David) comes to us with refreshing honesty about what he is facing. Here is also a wonderful honesty with God. It is like he is saying "God this is what I am going through....no one else may be willing to listen, but I need YOU to listen, God. "
David's words show the depths of his wilderness struggle, but also the depths of his trust in God. One of the odd benefits of chronic illness is that it is hard to have pretenses anymore...they take too much energy. That honesty with loved ones can be healing. At the same time, we see that God does not smote us if we're honest with God. Honesty brings a deeper, more trusting relationship--- even with God.
Today I encourage us all to be Honest with God regarding our feelings and needs, and realize that this is an opportunity to grow closer to God.
Dear God, this territory is hard, and we get weary, discouraged, angry whether we are fighting illness or helping another fight illness. Help us to grow deeper in relationship with you as we share honestly with you what we are experiencing today, and assure us that you want to support and care for us in all parts of our life. Amen.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
By Your Side
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. " Romans 8:38-39
Some words of encouragement on this hot summer day~ You are not alone~
Some words of encouragement on this hot summer day~ You are not alone~
Monday, June 6, 2011
Think on these things...
"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about- these things." ~ Philippians 4:20 NRSV
Over the past week, as the weather has turned significantly more hot and humid in this part of the country, I have found my crankiness factor (CF) rising. (Heat index + increase = Andrea's CF x10 )
The Crankiness Factor is NOT scientific in any way, and completely and utterly subjective. Any of a variety of variables can affect one's CF, and it is different for each person.
While I'm being playful in talking about the CF, I must say that it is a real thing for many people. In my experience, people fighting long-term mental and physical health issues often have a much greater tolerance for variables before their CF goes up. Perhaps that is due to the large number of daily variables that we have to face that would make healthy people cranky in no time at all. So, while my CF is usually pretty even keel, there are circumstances --usually over an extended period of time-- that make my CF rise, and when that happens folks, it's not pretty...
I start seeing everything, and I mean EVERYTHING as a nuisance and a problem. Nothing seems to be right, and every little thing begins to tick me off... and I'm not great to be around. I don't even like being around me when my Crankiness Factor is high.
So this morning, as I look at the weather, I see that we're scheduled for yet another day of near 90 degree temps and high humidity. Now, for some of you, that would be a relief, as cold weather raises your CF. However, heat and humidity make it much harder for my whole system to work, causes exponentially greater fatigue and chest pain, and is generally more difficult for me to do simple functions.
Seeing the forecast, I decided to get some baking done while the day is cool. Having Celiac's, I have learned that is is important for me to do much of my own baking, but I don't always have the energy to do it.
As I was measuring the ingredients for Gluten-free muffins this morning, I was reminded of how much I enjoyed baking and cooking. Just the process of mixing fresh, healthy ingredients, and anticipating good smells in the house helped decrease my crankiness factor quite a bit, and I realized that one of the things that I lose when my CF starts going up, is the ability to enjoy and participate in things I really like.
It's a catch 22- doing things I enjoy helps make me more resilent against the crankiness, but the crankiness and long-term health issues make it more difficult to do things I enjoy. One of the vital "tools" that it is important for people with long-term illness to develop is the ability to plan ahead for difficult times, even while we're having a good day. We need a reserve of ideas and plans ready to go so that when we're having a particularly difficult day or week, we have something to keep us going. When my fatigue, pain and frustration is high the last thing I want to do is any little bit more exertion-- so having pre-prepared plans and lists of possibilities helps a great deal.
It is work, but it is also what St. Paul is talking about. Whatever is good, whatever is pleasing, think on these things. He is speaking from a spiritual aspect, and I believe it works on spiritual, mental and physical levels.
What are the good, pleasing things that you are able to do for yourself or for others that you enjoy and can give you energy to keep going? Right now, name 5 things...
For me 5 pleasing, good things that keep me going are:
baking healthy foods
reading a book in the hammock
playing with, or just petting our dogs
reading stories to our kids
meditating
(Now if you're like me, and you skipped ahead to see what I wrote, but didn't put down 5 things, please name 5 things YOU enjoy and that give you energy to keep going :-) it will be a useful thing...really~)
After naming those things, what things can you do on a good day to prepare and set up those enjoyable parts of your life so that you take as little energy as possible to do them on a bad day?
One idea that came to mind for me is to put together ingredients for my favorite or necessary foods and separate them out into a bag and freeze them- (Not eggs, though) Or to bake GF foods on good days so I have good, healthy foods for me to enjoy when I don't have the energy to make them.
I could put a basket of favorite books by the bed where the kids and I read, or by the back door, and make sure the hammock is up ahead of time, or set out my exercise clothes and bag so that it makes it easier to do the exercises that will make me feel better; or to be sure to meditate on the good days, so that when a rough day comes, my practice kicks in and it is easier to concentrate and get beneficial results.
You get the picture. What can you do to prepare for a bad day? If today is a rough day, be gentle on yourself and choose to do one thing you enjoy that will encourage you if you can. If today is a good day, what can you do to prepare, and then let us think on these things...not the heat, or humidity, or the aches and pains.
Dear Lord, chronic illness can be a long haul. Fatigue and discouragement can easily set in. Help us today to turn our minds to those things we enjoy in this life you've given us, and the things that encourage us to keep going. Encourage and inspire us Lord. Amen.
Over the past week, as the weather has turned significantly more hot and humid in this part of the country, I have found my crankiness factor (CF) rising. (Heat index + increase = Andrea's CF x10 )
The Crankiness Factor is NOT scientific in any way, and completely and utterly subjective. Any of a variety of variables can affect one's CF, and it is different for each person.
While I'm being playful in talking about the CF, I must say that it is a real thing for many people. In my experience, people fighting long-term mental and physical health issues often have a much greater tolerance for variables before their CF goes up. Perhaps that is due to the large number of daily variables that we have to face that would make healthy people cranky in no time at all. So, while my CF is usually pretty even keel, there are circumstances --usually over an extended period of time-- that make my CF rise, and when that happens folks, it's not pretty...
I start seeing everything, and I mean EVERYTHING as a nuisance and a problem. Nothing seems to be right, and every little thing begins to tick me off... and I'm not great to be around. I don't even like being around me when my Crankiness Factor is high.
So this morning, as I look at the weather, I see that we're scheduled for yet another day of near 90 degree temps and high humidity. Now, for some of you, that would be a relief, as cold weather raises your CF. However, heat and humidity make it much harder for my whole system to work, causes exponentially greater fatigue and chest pain, and is generally more difficult for me to do simple functions.
Seeing the forecast, I decided to get some baking done while the day is cool. Having Celiac's, I have learned that is is important for me to do much of my own baking, but I don't always have the energy to do it.
As I was measuring the ingredients for Gluten-free muffins this morning, I was reminded of how much I enjoyed baking and cooking. Just the process of mixing fresh, healthy ingredients, and anticipating good smells in the house helped decrease my crankiness factor quite a bit, and I realized that one of the things that I lose when my CF starts going up, is the ability to enjoy and participate in things I really like.
It's a catch 22- doing things I enjoy helps make me more resilent against the crankiness, but the crankiness and long-term health issues make it more difficult to do things I enjoy. One of the vital "tools" that it is important for people with long-term illness to develop is the ability to plan ahead for difficult times, even while we're having a good day. We need a reserve of ideas and plans ready to go so that when we're having a particularly difficult day or week, we have something to keep us going. When my fatigue, pain and frustration is high the last thing I want to do is any little bit more exertion-- so having pre-prepared plans and lists of possibilities helps a great deal.
It is work, but it is also what St. Paul is talking about. Whatever is good, whatever is pleasing, think on these things. He is speaking from a spiritual aspect, and I believe it works on spiritual, mental and physical levels.
What are the good, pleasing things that you are able to do for yourself or for others that you enjoy and can give you energy to keep going? Right now, name 5 things...
For me 5 pleasing, good things that keep me going are:
baking healthy foods
reading a book in the hammock
playing with, or just petting our dogs
reading stories to our kids
meditating
(Now if you're like me, and you skipped ahead to see what I wrote, but didn't put down 5 things, please name 5 things YOU enjoy and that give you energy to keep going :-) it will be a useful thing...really~)
After naming those things, what things can you do on a good day to prepare and set up those enjoyable parts of your life so that you take as little energy as possible to do them on a bad day?
One idea that came to mind for me is to put together ingredients for my favorite or necessary foods and separate them out into a bag and freeze them- (Not eggs, though) Or to bake GF foods on good days so I have good, healthy foods for me to enjoy when I don't have the energy to make them.
I could put a basket of favorite books by the bed where the kids and I read, or by the back door, and make sure the hammock is up ahead of time, or set out my exercise clothes and bag so that it makes it easier to do the exercises that will make me feel better; or to be sure to meditate on the good days, so that when a rough day comes, my practice kicks in and it is easier to concentrate and get beneficial results.
You get the picture. What can you do to prepare for a bad day? If today is a rough day, be gentle on yourself and choose to do one thing you enjoy that will encourage you if you can. If today is a good day, what can you do to prepare, and then let us think on these things...not the heat, or humidity, or the aches and pains.
Dear Lord, chronic illness can be a long haul. Fatigue and discouragement can easily set in. Help us today to turn our minds to those things we enjoy in this life you've given us, and the things that encourage us to keep going. Encourage and inspire us Lord. Amen.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Like Wings of Eagles
"He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind. " Isaiah 40:29-31 The Message
When I first was hit with the symptoms of POTS, and before I knew what it was or how to start managing it, this Bible verse was my "go-to" verse on Sunday mornings as I would travel to the congregations I was serving. Out of my exhaustion and discomfort, this verse would leap from my heart like a plea...almost a bargain. "Lord, if you get the through this morning you know I will serve you. Please raise me up to do your work...I'm so weary...'
Sunday after Sunday this would be my cry, and Sunday after Sunday the Lord delivered energy enough that I would do my appointed duties, and then drive home safely and collapse for the rest of the day. Looking back, I see now that I was using this verse almost as a magic spell... if I said the right words, I could manipulate God into doing things MY way. In reality I was neither listening to my body's needs, or to God's calling. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to serve that delightful congregation, and I do believe God worked in me to serve there. What I have trouble with today is how I did it.
I prayed to get what I wanted on my terms. I did things my way and expected God to bless it.
A wise friend of mine has a better approach, I think. It doesn't deny reality, but rather it takes the relationship with God and the limitations and gifts of one's challenges seriously. Joe and I were classmates in seminary, and to me he was always a paragon of health. Several years ago his health was affected to the point he needed surgery, and now uses the assistance of a wheelchair. Joe, to me, now is a paragon of faithfulness, working to introduce Jesus to others and help them know and fall in love with the Him.
Joe's prayer, I heard from his wife Marie goes something like this "Lord, give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today." I love this prayer. It is a gentle, trusting prayer, and depends upon God's guidance and action, instead of our calling the shots.
On days like today, when my muscles ache, and I feel pretty awful all around, I am very tempted to go back to my bargaining prayer. I am very tempted to ask God to do what I want, so that I can live life on my terms. But today I thank my friend Joe for his witness, and my prayer has become "Lord give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today."
Lord who loves and cares for the weak and weary, please give me the strength to do what you want me to do today. Guide and support me this day. Amen.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
they walk and don't lag behind. " Isaiah 40:29-31 The Message
When I first was hit with the symptoms of POTS, and before I knew what it was or how to start managing it, this Bible verse was my "go-to" verse on Sunday mornings as I would travel to the congregations I was serving. Out of my exhaustion and discomfort, this verse would leap from my heart like a plea...almost a bargain. "Lord, if you get the through this morning you know I will serve you. Please raise me up to do your work...I'm so weary...'
Sunday after Sunday this would be my cry, and Sunday after Sunday the Lord delivered energy enough that I would do my appointed duties, and then drive home safely and collapse for the rest of the day. Looking back, I see now that I was using this verse almost as a magic spell... if I said the right words, I could manipulate God into doing things MY way. In reality I was neither listening to my body's needs, or to God's calling. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to serve that delightful congregation, and I do believe God worked in me to serve there. What I have trouble with today is how I did it.
I prayed to get what I wanted on my terms. I did things my way and expected God to bless it.
A wise friend of mine has a better approach, I think. It doesn't deny reality, but rather it takes the relationship with God and the limitations and gifts of one's challenges seriously. Joe and I were classmates in seminary, and to me he was always a paragon of health. Several years ago his health was affected to the point he needed surgery, and now uses the assistance of a wheelchair. Joe, to me, now is a paragon of faithfulness, working to introduce Jesus to others and help them know and fall in love with the Him.
Joe's prayer, I heard from his wife Marie goes something like this "Lord, give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today." I love this prayer. It is a gentle, trusting prayer, and depends upon God's guidance and action, instead of our calling the shots.
On days like today, when my muscles ache, and I feel pretty awful all around, I am very tempted to go back to my bargaining prayer. I am very tempted to ask God to do what I want, so that I can live life on my terms. But today I thank my friend Joe for his witness, and my prayer has become "Lord give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today."
Lord who loves and cares for the weak and weary, please give me the strength to do what you want me to do today. Guide and support me this day. Amen.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Part of something bigger than ourselves
Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself
~ Ephesians 2:20, NLT
I've always loved this house imagery from Ephesians. Perhaps because when I was in Confirmation classes we were to read the book of Ephesians and then somehow explain what each chapter meant. I was so excited that I could actually read and understand this image. Jesus was the cornerstone, the powerful anchor of the building--true and vital, and the piece that set all the others in proper place.
What a powerful image that we were placed upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, all the wisdom and courage of those who went before us makes the house solid and enduring. The stories of the prophets are often about those who looked like failures in the world, but they spoke God's truth--an enduring and powerful truth.
How humbling it is for me to realize that we are parts of this house, and how we speak God's truth now makes a difference for those who are around us, and those who will come after us. Some days I feel like a brick --not moving, and pretty dense (LOL :-), but within this chronic illness time I'm more likely to doubt my value as a building block in this house. What can I do, after all, with this body that gets so weak and lightheaded when I"m upright, or with this heart that experiences pains as the heat gets higher? Who would possibly build something out of material like me?
And yet, here's one of the things I often forget, many, many materials become more valuable under pressure or high heat: sand becomes glass, coal becomes diamonds, certain rocks become granite, and silver and gold are purified. The lies of pain and illness would have me believe otherwise, but difficulties of today and the pain of chronic illness are working on my heart and spirit to make an even more powerful and valuable me.
You and I and all those facing long-term struggles have a very valuable gift to offer the rest of the 'house' of faith, and while those gifts differ because of our composite and our tempering, we have valuable gifts to offer nonetheless. God is wise in building the house of faith, and including you and I in the building is no mistake.
Wise God, today help us to see and appreciate the place you have put us as you build. Help those who are feeling lost, or who are hurting today to have good courage, and strength to face this day. Help those who understand the struggles of life to reach out and embrace and encourage those who are hurting. Amen.
~ Ephesians 2:20, NLT
I've always loved this house imagery from Ephesians. Perhaps because when I was in Confirmation classes we were to read the book of Ephesians and then somehow explain what each chapter meant. I was so excited that I could actually read and understand this image. Jesus was the cornerstone, the powerful anchor of the building--true and vital, and the piece that set all the others in proper place.
What a powerful image that we were placed upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, all the wisdom and courage of those who went before us makes the house solid and enduring. The stories of the prophets are often about those who looked like failures in the world, but they spoke God's truth--an enduring and powerful truth.
How humbling it is for me to realize that we are parts of this house, and how we speak God's truth now makes a difference for those who are around us, and those who will come after us. Some days I feel like a brick --not moving, and pretty dense (LOL :-), but within this chronic illness time I'm more likely to doubt my value as a building block in this house. What can I do, after all, with this body that gets so weak and lightheaded when I"m upright, or with this heart that experiences pains as the heat gets higher? Who would possibly build something out of material like me?
And yet, here's one of the things I often forget, many, many materials become more valuable under pressure or high heat: sand becomes glass, coal becomes diamonds, certain rocks become granite, and silver and gold are purified. The lies of pain and illness would have me believe otherwise, but difficulties of today and the pain of chronic illness are working on my heart and spirit to make an even more powerful and valuable me.
You and I and all those facing long-term struggles have a very valuable gift to offer the rest of the 'house' of faith, and while those gifts differ because of our composite and our tempering, we have valuable gifts to offer nonetheless. God is wise in building the house of faith, and including you and I in the building is no mistake.
Wise God, today help us to see and appreciate the place you have put us as you build. Help those who are feeling lost, or who are hurting today to have good courage, and strength to face this day. Help those who understand the struggles of life to reach out and embrace and encourage those who are hurting. Amen.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Commissioned or out of Commission?
" So when they had come together, they asked him, "Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?" He replied, "It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." When he had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. " Acts 1:6-9 NRSV
At Jesus' ascension he commissions the disciples to go and be witnesses...to the ends of the earth. I've always been so grateful for this particular verse, because if Jesus had only said tell the people in Jerusalem and Judea (which would have made sense to most), then I wonder if I'd have ever heard of Jesus, or fallen in love with this Lord of my life. To the ends of the earth...yes-- across space and time and continents eventually the witness was spread.
In my 'pre-illness' life, I heard this verse and found myself fired up to continue to spread the good news. I found myself challenged in a positive way to tell others about Jesus. I realize many, many of the scriptures I've encountered in my studies and in my ministry had much to say to me and to others about being active in the faith and moving forward-- being commissioned to share. In these past months, I've started to question what this commissioning means in real terms for my life now. As someone who doesn't know if I'll have the strength or energy to make it through even the most uneventful days, the idea of being commissioned to witness to the ends of the earth is mind-boggling, and often overwhelming.
How could I possibly be commissioned to continue to witness to Jesus? The continuing illness has more often left me feeling out of commission. The real limits and changes in my physical and mental abilities have made me question my limits and abilities for ministry.
And yet I see this scene of Jesus' ascension with new eyes. What kinds of limits must the disciples have felt when Jesus ascended? They had been following him and now he was being taken to heaven to become Lord of creation...what could they possibly do to be part of his mission now?
What can you and I do to be part of God's healing and life giving work now, when we pray for healing ourselves and wrestle with the challenges of daily life?
What the disciples faced wasn't easy, but the Holy Spirit guided them, encouraged them and inspired them to carry out the mission to which they were called. It didn't look like anything that had been done before...
What you and I face isn't easy...for us or those around us, but we are not orphaned. The Holy Spirit...the very breath of God...seeks to work in us, will guide us, encourage us and inspire us to carry out the mission to which you and I are called. It likely won't look like what we've done before ( and may very well not look like what any others have done before), but just as the Holy Spirit opened up new lands and new opportunities to witness to God's saving grace in Jesus, in this chronic illness territory the Holy Spirit opens up new opportunities and 'lands' in which to witness God's saving grace.
The way we try to face tests and treatments with hope and kindness is a witness to God's grace; the way we may have more time and opportunity to listen to our children and their friends may open up a new land and new people which haven't heard of God's love; the creative and inventive and just-plain-persistent ways that we don't allow 'obstacles' to stop us witnesses to the hope and Grace of God.
Those who were watching the disciples may have suspected that it was the end of the road for them, but it was truly just the beginning.
Those who watch us may suspect that we are at the end of our road and are out of commission... but what they don't understand is that God works wonders with those who are in new territories, and particularly those who seem to be finished by the world's standards. The world's endings truly turn out to be beginnings in the hands of our loving and creative God.
So, today, particularly if you are feeling 'out of commission'-- as I suspect I will later this afternoon (yes, I am up at midnight and posting this...but that's a bit of a fun story for another day :-) ...if you are feeling out of commission, look up, and know that you have been entrusted with important tasks in this chronic illness terrain...tasks that perhaps only you can make now BECAUSE you are in this territory. Look for the opportunities that God sets in your path, and know that God is a God of new beginnings.
Creative, loving God, today I may feel finished and wondering what I can do because of long-term health issues. Remind me that 'endings' turn into beginnings in your hands as you lead us to witness to the ends of the earth... whether if that 'end' is to a sick friend who needs understanding, or to a lab tech who is feeling down. Utilize us during this important time, and remind us that your Holy Spirit is the one who will move, give us strength, and make use of our challenges and our gifts. Amen.
At Jesus' ascension he commissions the disciples to go and be witnesses...to the ends of the earth. I've always been so grateful for this particular verse, because if Jesus had only said tell the people in Jerusalem and Judea (which would have made sense to most), then I wonder if I'd have ever heard of Jesus, or fallen in love with this Lord of my life. To the ends of the earth...yes-- across space and time and continents eventually the witness was spread.
In my 'pre-illness' life, I heard this verse and found myself fired up to continue to spread the good news. I found myself challenged in a positive way to tell others about Jesus. I realize many, many of the scriptures I've encountered in my studies and in my ministry had much to say to me and to others about being active in the faith and moving forward-- being commissioned to share. In these past months, I've started to question what this commissioning means in real terms for my life now. As someone who doesn't know if I'll have the strength or energy to make it through even the most uneventful days, the idea of being commissioned to witness to the ends of the earth is mind-boggling, and often overwhelming.
How could I possibly be commissioned to continue to witness to Jesus? The continuing illness has more often left me feeling out of commission. The real limits and changes in my physical and mental abilities have made me question my limits and abilities for ministry.
And yet I see this scene of Jesus' ascension with new eyes. What kinds of limits must the disciples have felt when Jesus ascended? They had been following him and now he was being taken to heaven to become Lord of creation...what could they possibly do to be part of his mission now?
What can you and I do to be part of God's healing and life giving work now, when we pray for healing ourselves and wrestle with the challenges of daily life?
What the disciples faced wasn't easy, but the Holy Spirit guided them, encouraged them and inspired them to carry out the mission to which they were called. It didn't look like anything that had been done before...
What you and I face isn't easy...for us or those around us, but we are not orphaned. The Holy Spirit...the very breath of God...seeks to work in us, will guide us, encourage us and inspire us to carry out the mission to which you and I are called. It likely won't look like what we've done before ( and may very well not look like what any others have done before), but just as the Holy Spirit opened up new lands and new opportunities to witness to God's saving grace in Jesus, in this chronic illness territory the Holy Spirit opens up new opportunities and 'lands' in which to witness God's saving grace.
The way we try to face tests and treatments with hope and kindness is a witness to God's grace; the way we may have more time and opportunity to listen to our children and their friends may open up a new land and new people which haven't heard of God's love; the creative and inventive and just-plain-persistent ways that we don't allow 'obstacles' to stop us witnesses to the hope and Grace of God.
Those who were watching the disciples may have suspected that it was the end of the road for them, but it was truly just the beginning.
Those who watch us may suspect that we are at the end of our road and are out of commission... but what they don't understand is that God works wonders with those who are in new territories, and particularly those who seem to be finished by the world's standards. The world's endings truly turn out to be beginnings in the hands of our loving and creative God.
So, today, particularly if you are feeling 'out of commission'-- as I suspect I will later this afternoon (yes, I am up at midnight and posting this...but that's a bit of a fun story for another day :-) ...if you are feeling out of commission, look up, and know that you have been entrusted with important tasks in this chronic illness terrain...tasks that perhaps only you can make now BECAUSE you are in this territory. Look for the opportunities that God sets in your path, and know that God is a God of new beginnings.
Creative, loving God, today I may feel finished and wondering what I can do because of long-term health issues. Remind me that 'endings' turn into beginnings in your hands as you lead us to witness to the ends of the earth... whether if that 'end' is to a sick friend who needs understanding, or to a lab tech who is feeling down. Utilize us during this important time, and remind us that your Holy Spirit is the one who will move, give us strength, and make use of our challenges and our gifts. Amen.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Strong Enough by Matthew West
"I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. " John 14:18
This verse is powerful on many levels for me, and will be our verse for tomorrow as well. Today I'm compelled to share this Matthew West song for everyone who is feeling overwhelmed, or orphaned today.
Dear Lord, hear the prayers of your people today, particularly those who are facing challenges that feel overwhelming. Remind us that you are always with us, and that you will help us face what lies before us today. Amen.
This verse is powerful on many levels for me, and will be our verse for tomorrow as well. Today I'm compelled to share this Matthew West song for everyone who is feeling overwhelmed, or orphaned today.
Dear Lord, hear the prayers of your people today, particularly those who are facing challenges that feel overwhelming. Remind us that you are always with us, and that you will help us face what lies before us today. Amen.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A future that God sees
"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. " Jeremiah 29:11
I'd like you to meet someone who has inspired me through his videos and teaching and life. May it inspire and bring you hope~
Andrea
I'd like you to meet someone who has inspired me through his videos and teaching and life. May it inspire and bring you hope~
Andrea
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