Like Wings of Eagles

   "He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
   And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired,
   gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out,
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired,
   they walk and don't lag behind. "  Isaiah 40:29-31 The Message

When I first was hit with the symptoms of POTS, and before I knew what it was or how to start managing it, this Bible verse was my "go-to" verse on Sunday mornings as I would travel to the congregations I was serving.  Out of my exhaustion and discomfort, this verse would leap from my heart like a plea...almost a bargain. "Lord, if you get the through this morning you know I will serve you.  Please raise me up to do your work...I'm so weary...'  

Sunday after Sunday this would be my cry, and Sunday after Sunday the Lord delivered energy enough that I would do my appointed duties, and then drive home safely and collapse for the rest of the day.  Looking back, I see now that I was using this verse almost as a magic spell... if I said the right words, I could manipulate God into doing things MY way.  In reality I was neither listening to my body's needs, or to God's calling. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful that I had the opportunity to serve that delightful congregation, and I do believe God worked in me to serve there.  What I have trouble with today is how I did it.

I prayed to get what I wanted on my terms.  I did things my way and expected God to bless it. 

A wise friend of mine has a better approach, I think.  It doesn't deny reality, but rather it takes the relationship with God and the limitations and gifts of one's challenges seriously.  Joe and I were classmates in seminary, and to me he was always a paragon of health. Several years ago his health was affected to the point he needed surgery, and now uses the assistance of a wheelchair.  Joe, to me, now is a paragon of faithfulness, working to introduce Jesus to others and help them know and fall in love with the Him. 

Joe's prayer, I heard from his wife Marie goes something like this "Lord, give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today."  I love this prayer.  It is a gentle, trusting prayer, and depends upon God's guidance and action, instead of our calling the shots.

On days like today, when my muscles ache, and I feel pretty awful all around, I am very tempted to go back to my bargaining prayer.  I am very tempted to ask God to do what I want, so that I can live life on my terms.  But today I thank my friend Joe for his witness, and my prayer has become "Lord give me the strength to do the things you want me to do today." 

Lord who loves and cares for the weak and weary, please give me the strength to do what you want me to do today. Guide and support me this day. Amen.