Patient Self-love

"Love is patient; love is kind"  1 Corinthians 13:4

For years, I have only thought of 1 Corinthians 13 in terms of weddings and relationships with others. In my experience, it is the most often used scripture at weddings, and chances are, when people hear this quoted, they may think of a wedding they've been to, or we think in terms of a specific relationship. 

Recently, the verses and chapters about love have started me thinking about how I love and treat myself.  Last month, I wrote on "Love your neighbor as yourself"  with the emphasis on how we really do love ourselves.

The verse "Love is patient; love is kind"  echoed in my ears this morning as I got up after tending a sick kiddo late into the night, and I found myself pushing through this morning.  Our son has a cold, and I'm sure with some rest and chicken and stars soup he will be doing much better.  However, as many of you already know, even one change in the way things work in our home makes a big difference in how I feel and handle my chronic illness.

The contrast between how I treat my son when he's ill, and how I treat myself when I'm ill is quite startling.  I insist on early bed-times and naps for him, and yet neglect adequate sleep for myself.  I do what I can to help him feel better, while it is very easy for me to berate myself for not being able to do more, and push even harder. I am infinitely more patient with my son than I ever am with myself when I'm having a rough health day. 

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself"...or the flipside of the ellipsis :  Love yourself as you love your neighbor. 

In what ways do I need to be patient with myself?  Am I really understanding that my body has gone through a great deal of difficulties, and it really is pretty amazing that I can even sit up and type today?  Am I patient with my limitations-- not giving in to them, but fighting them in a way that doesn't tear down my spirit and morale?  Am I kind to myself?  Do I understand realistic expectations for a person with this this condition, or do I make unrealistic and damaging expectations of myself?  Am I allowing myself ample time to heal and adapt to treatments, or am I driving myself too hard...beating myself up like some poor donkey that has been through one too many hard struggles?

Love is patient, Love is kind.  In what ways are we patient with ourselves while not giving in to the illness?  How are we being kind to ourselves and surrounding ourselves with others that love and support us?

Please let us not use these questions as another way to punish ourselves for not "being enough", but let these questions inform and guide us so that we can fully be people who live out love in their lives...even for ourselves.

Dear Lord, sometimes it is so much easier to act out of patience and kindness for the people around us. Today help us live with patience and kindness toward the precious gift of the body, mind and spirit that you have given us.  Help us to love ourselves as you love us.  Amen.