Why "chronic hope" ? The Free Merriam-Webster dictionary defines chronic as " marked by long duration or frequent recurrence". I named this blog Chronic Hope as it is my intention that this will be a place where hope, encouragement, compassion and understanding will be the heart of this site.
This is a place for people in all parts of the journey of life. Welcome
8 The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 The Lord is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.
14 The Lord upholds all who are falling, and raises up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. 16 You open your hand, satisfying the desire of every living thing. 17 The Lord is just in all his ways, and kind in all his doings. 18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desire of all who fear him; he also hears their cry, and saves them. 20 The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. 21 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord, and all flesh will bless his holy name forever and ever.
13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. 15 When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves." 16 Jesus said to them, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat." 17 They replied, "We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish." 18 And he said, "Bring them here to me." 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. Matthew 14:13-21
"He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?" Micah 6:6-8 NRSV
This walk through the chronic health wilderness has helped me learn that I have a gift for making things more complicated than they need to be :-)
If we're planning something as a family, I'm the one who keeps adding ideas to the list, until (usually) my husband will give me a look that says "Really?" When I go back over the plans I see that I've taken something pretty simple and made it difficult.
I can easily do that with my 'to do' list every day. I'll keep adding and adding until, eventually, it is a list that would tax a healthy person, much less me. I also have to confess that I could easily have this tendency in my preaching.
A gift that this chronic health time has given me is the gift of necessary simplicity. I must simplify because I haven't got the energy for anything else.
Necessary simplicity is not an easy thing, especially if you are a person that is used to accomplishing much in a day/week/year. Necessary simplicity forces us to go to the heart of the matter and do that which is most important, and then leave the rest. Sometimes, I barely have the energy for the most important things-- it is then when I find out what is really important.
We're experiencing more of the heat and humidity again this week in this part of the US. Our family had planned to go camping at one of our favorite places, but with the lack of Air Conditioning (and by the wise help of my husband) I realized that I physically couldn't make this trip work. It would be too taxing on my body.
I sulked for days, upset that I had ruined our plans. Necessary simplicity kicked in, and we've made plans to have a fun "camping at home" kind of week now.
As another example, I've had some pretty difficult health days this week-- and today is shaping up to be another one. Now, I could (and used to) lament about not being able to accomplish anything. Necessary simplicity has freed me up this morning to get to the heart of the matter...and then figure out what is absolutely necessary for me to do today. Then the choice is mine. I can complain and push myself beyond my limits, or I can accept doing what I'm able to do at my own pace. I think it is the difference between "my will be done" and "thy will be done".
How are you today? What are your aspirations as you face this day? Are they realistic to how you are feeling? How might simplifying your plans be beneficial to you and to others?
However you face this day, may you know the gentle, embracing love of the God who is there to help you face today.
We have heard that it is a gift to be simple Lord, but as complex people, we sometimes make walking with you to be something very complicated. Today let us breathe, care for our bodies, minds and spirits, and help us to focus on what really matters today. Amen.
"Of course, there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment; for we brought nothing into the world, so that* we can take nothing out of it.." 1 Timothy 6:6-7
"Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations,
‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ Psalm 126:2 NRSV
Over the past several weeks, I've had something happen that hasn't happened for a while--- laughter. I've had several laugh-so-hard-that-tears-come-out-and-you-can't-help-but-snort experiences...and it felt great!
One thing I've observed in my life with long term illness is that my sense of humor has also been affected. For a while with the relapse of symptoms, I've not laughed as much as I used to, and humor has been conspicuously absent. There is much about what we face in this wilderness that is not funny at all. And yet at the same time when the gift of laughter breaks into our experience it lightens our load, quickens our step, and even can ease the pain some.
I'm a huge believer in the healing power of laughter, so when I discovered that it had been gone for a time in my life, I was surprised to say the least. Since that discovery, I've found that I'm embracing more things that make me laugh, and oddly enough, having more people send me funny things.
So today, I'd like to share a couple of them with you- you may or may not find them funny. Either way, I pray that some laughter can break into where you are today and bring you the grace of this amazing gift from God.
...a song you might recognize...maybe :-)
.....from an email my mother sent me...enjoy!
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Read about their Customer Relations below.
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o--
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as heck everything has shifted."
---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o—
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
---o0o—
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
---o0o—
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
---o0o—
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
---o0o—
Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 NRSV
This morning going through Facebook posts, one caught my attention: "Some days you just have to turn the quiet up." (Thank you Marie, for posting that~)
Often on this blog I talk about living with and coming to peace with what we cannot do in our work, our homes...in our lives... to understand a "new normal" in our lives. We also talk here about what a great opportunity we have to open our hearts to the opportunity for spiritual growth that God has placed before us in this time. The quote today struck me, because it gives a clear picture of someone being active in choosing quiet... in choosing to be still in this place where God gives us the opportunity for deep inner growth.
It struck me that having chronic illness doesn't automatically mean that we will grow spiritually more deep, any more than throwing a fish into water means that it will live. The fish has to move. Now, it moves, because it is alive, but it also is alive because it swims. The two go together.
We do not automatically become spiritually deep because we've been thrown into these difficult waters, but if we're willing to take some action, make some choices to nurture our hearts and be still so we can grow closer to God, like a fish swimming in water, we cannot help but be supported by the vast ocean of God's presence.
Just as before we faced long-term illnesses, there is much in our world that seeks for our attention. Even now we can sometimes have so much going on in our mind, that although our bodies are not protesting, our minds are far from still.
The words of the Psalmist today remind us of God's call to come away and be present with him for a while...to still our minds as well as our bodies so that, as we turn the noise of our thoughts down, and the quiet up, we are more able to hear the 'still small voice' that keeps calling out our name. How might you plan to turn the quiet up?
Dear Lord, sometimes the noise around us and within us become so persistent, so 'normal' that we forget we have the ability to turn up the quiet. Today let me be still and hear your loving directions. Amen.
"He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.’ " Matthew 13:31-32
One of the new 'mantras' in my life is "Take things at my pace." This has been a learning that has taken me over 3 years to start to comprehend. Being in an upright position physicailly can affect me (and others with dysautonomia) differently on different days depending upon heat, hormones, how much sleep I had, what I've eaten, and other combinations of things.
I've always been a very driven person, and encountered life at full speed. Now, I wasn't taking unusual risks, I just was always on the move, always thinking of the next thing. I was very often running on a timetable set by someone else, and I would adapt my life and schedule to meet those other needs; be it the needs of the church, or family or society. It was rare that I would slow down long enough to ask what I wanted and needed. What I 'needed' was to fit into what others' expected of me.
My 'New Normal' with POTS has changed that...not always, but often. POTS knocked me flat on my back, and I realize that I had one option...to listen to what my body needed. I may look like a 'normal' mid-fortish woman, but my body cannot do what others' bodies do naturally. It cannot regulate my body's reaction automatically to heat, gravity or stress in the same ways, and there's a cost to facing these things.
It is not a visable difference, but it is a huge difference nonetheless.
Jesus talks about tthe Kingdom of God coming in amazing ways through ordinary looking things. Tiny, inconsequential appearing specks have great growth, and purpose, as Jesus compares the coming of the Kingdom of God to a mustard seed.
I find Jesus' words comforting today. The experience of this summer's garden has reminded me that different seeds grow at different rates, and some that I thought would be plentiful produced diddly-squat, while those I had written off or ignored have produced abundant crop.
Taking life at "my own pace" often feels tiny and inconsequential. I'm not the busy, obviously "important because I'm so busy" person. Growing at our own God-given rate, is also against the judging eyes of outsiders. "Nothing LOOKS wrong...she or he must be lazy." when the opposite is true.
We are on a journey and God is the one bringing the growth. Taking life at our own pace is a way to respect the needs of our own body and soul, and it is a way to witness to the God who brings in the blessings of God's kingdom in so many ways...in God's own time.
Loving God, thank you for this beautiful reminder through Jesus' parable. No matter what we look like, or what activities may or may not be able to do, help us to put our hearts into growing in faith. Make tiny seed of our lives burst forth with life and blossom in your time. Amen.
"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified." Isaiah 61:3
A lovely song by the group Superchick. May it bless you~
"28 We know that all things work together for good* for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. 29For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family.*30And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified. 31 What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? 33Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.*35Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.’ 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
Romans 8:28-39
"When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear...., Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’" John 20:19-21 NRSV
Hi Folks, here's a lively and yet, for me, deeply moving song for this Friday morning. Enjoy~
Andrea
ps- this heat wave is hitting me very hard. I plan to post something inspiring each day, but it may be several days before I post any of my own devotional writings up. Thanks for your understanding and prayers. You are in my thoughts and prayers as well.
" 4Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. 5Let the same mind be in you that was* in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God
as something to be exploited, 7 but emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, 8 he humbled himself
and became obedient to the point of death—
even death on a cross.
9 Therefore God also highly exalted him
and gave him the name
that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bend,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue should confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. "
Philippians 2:4-11 NRSV
A lovely and powerful song for you on this steamy Thursday morning. peace, Andrea
“…love your neighbor as well as you love yourself.”
Luke 10:27 The Message
I’ve always thought that what I have taught in congregations has been dwarfed by the amazing amount of things that congregations have taught me.In the last church I served, I have to say I learned more about mission than I ever had before.In the midst of an incredibly difficult transition, this congregation showed me the power of loving the neighbor and how it can also help heal us in the process.
This congregation had a strong mission and outreach for many years, sending mission teams to Nicaragua, Haiti, Biloxi and the gulf states, and it had a strong partnerships with several inner city congregations. Outreach and loving the neighbor wasn’t just a task, it was part of the fabric of who they were as the People of God.
So when there was a major transition and everything seemed turned upside-down, it would be understandable for most congregations to turn in on themselves and cut back on mission efforts.This congregation didn’t miss a beat. Within a couple weeks they sent their mission team to Biloxi to help rebuild in the aftermath of Katrina. The mission team members spoke of how important that trip was in their own processing and healing, and how God had worked through that time to strengthen them, even as they helped others.
The relationship with an inner-city sister congregation was also strengthened, as they also faced the transition between pastors at the same time.The partnership of equals that had been nurtured so long was really coming to fruition as prayer, support and love flowed even more freely between these two very different groups of people.
The congregation continued its planned major outreach at Christmastime, with over 200 volunteers from the church helping to pull it off. It was, as they called it, a ‘gift to the whole city’ as they shared the Christmas message.
When the earthquake hit Haiti then in January, this congregation responded with immediate care and aid. The sense was that part of the ‘family’ had been hurt and we had to help. The planned trip 6 weeks later went off as scheduled with an even greater outpouring of care and help for our brothers and sisters in Haiti.
And so it continued, that even as they were working on finding the path that God was laying out before them, this congregation continued to serve the neighbor. To this day, even as I look back and see what they had accomplished (and do even more now!) I am humbled to have been able to walk with them and learn with them.God showed me in living color, how love multiplies as you give it away.Focusing upon the need of the neighbor continued to give purpose in a wilderness time. Love for the neighbor helped remind them that the reason they existed was bigger than the pain they were experiencing.Loving the neighbor kept them going through some of the darkest days, and helped them to be even more powerful witnesses to the Gospel.
These reflections this morning are more than just a humidity induced rambling from me—(although you never know J ).Reflecting upon the congregation and its outreach in the wilderness time encourages me to reach out to the neighbor…to see what our local mission might need during this heat wave, even as I face the extremes of this heat. Loving the neighbor was part of what inspired this blog, as God compelled me, now that I had better understanding of this chronic illness wilderness, to reach out and encourage and teach others.
What we will find is that the benefits of loving the neighbor far outweigh the efforts, particularly during difficult times.The Lord’s blessing of purpose, meaning and grace flows even more extravagantly back to us when we make the steps to love our neighbor.
How might God be inspiring you to love a neighbor (near or far) today?What seed might God have planted in your heart to reach out to others even while you are in this wilderness journey?I invite you to pray about it, and then act with wisdom and generosity.It will be so very much worth it, that you’ll want to do it again.
God of Grace, Help me to love my neighbor in real, tangible ways. Show me the path, and I ask you to please bless the efforts, for their sake and for mine. Amen.
God is our refuge and strength,
a very presenthelp in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble with its tumult. Psalm 46:1-3 NRSV
The day started out at 78 degrees and went to 93 with a heat index of 102 within a few hours. Many of us in the mid-section of the United States are facing oppressive heat and humidity. I am aware that there are many people who live in places in the world where such temperatures are normal. Where I live, these temps are extreme-- and they can have an extreme effect.
In the post "New Normal" I talked about how people with long-term illnesses often face daily challenges which become part of their routine, but that others' may find to be extreme. I would dare to say that people living with Chronic mental and/or physical illnesses are not weak or stupid, we are not lazy or cowards. In fact, I have found for the most part that people who live with long-term illnesses are resilient, creative, determined, courageous, extremely strong people. It often takes a LOT for someone with long-term illness to call "uncle" and have to bow out of something, or share that they are in pain, or...as I had to today...lay on the floor so they don't pass out.
If there's something I'd like those without chronic illnesses to understand it is this- when we say the heat is bothering us, it doesn't just mean we're hot. When cold, or pain, or depression or fatigue is getting to us, it's not the normal scale that the rest of the world talks about. We're talking extremes. We'd likely take the 'normal scale' in a heartbeat and consider it a good day.
When we share with you that the heat is getting to us, or that we're in pain, or that we're depressed, please listen with careful ears, and find out what we need. Often, in order to continue to be determined, courageous and strong, we've had to power through really rough times, and for some (not all) of us, it can be a matter of pride to not give in, even when our bodies or spirits are really hurting. Some of the extremes can also be dangerous, and for us to make the safe choices we need, it may mean we cannot do what we would normally do-- or even what we want to do. Having understanding, respectful support can make a big difference in helping us do what our bodies and minds need.
I've already shared some of my 'extremes'-- heat being the most dangerous right now. We don't all share the same extremes, either. While I find grey winter days to be energizing and wonderful (because they are the opposite of THIS weather), they can be dark and painful days for folks with Seasonal Affective Disorder. The fireworks that some choose to use on the 4th of July can be a serious trigger for some of the people who have secured our freedom, and who live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Reaching and stretching is not a problem for some, but is impossible for others... and the list goes on.
We are individuals and the specifics differ, but whether we have long-term illness or we are relatively healthy, young, old, male, female we all will face extreme circumstances in our life in one way or another. The Psalmist echoes this experience in Psalm 46- God is our very present help in times of trouble. Whether the earth changes, the mountains fall or the sea roars, no matter what extreme within or without, God is our very present help. Very. Present. Help.
What extremes are difficult for you? I'd really appreciate hearing whatever you're comfortable sharing either in a post in the comments, or email me. The more we can learn from each other, the more we can support, care for and pray for each other. Stay cool, and remember God is very present to help no matter what you are facing.
Lord God, you are our refuge and strength. Whether we are facing the typical, daily struggles and joys, or we are facing extreme circumstances, help us to know you are near. We need you, and we need you near. Amen.
For me, Sundays have been about Scripture and music. One of the challenges of long-term illness is that I am physically not able to be in a worshipping community on Sunday mornings, particularly when the weather is very hot, or when it is very cold outside and the buildings are very warm. My ability, or lack thereof, to be in worship doesn't change my need for Scripture and worship music.
A new feature that I've been tinkering with for a while on this blog is a Special Sunday Devotion of scripture and music. Some Sundays I may also have some comments on the Scripture...I am a preacher, after all! LOL!!
This morning Brandon Heath's song "Give Me Your Eyes" has been playing in my head. It is a powerful, beautiful song, and it has started me pondering some thoughts for devotions this coming week.
I hope you enjoy the song, as well as the new Special Sunday Devotion time of Scripture and Song~ peace, Andrea
Defining "Neighbor"
25Just then a religion scholar stood up with a question to test Jesus. "Teacher, what do I need to do to get eternal life?" 26He answered, "What's written in God's Law? How do you interpret it?" 27He said, "That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself." 28"Good answer!" said Jesus. "Do it and you'll live." 29Looking for a loophole, he asked, "And just how would you define 'neighbor'?" 30 -32Jesus answered by telling a story. "There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man. 33 -35"A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man's condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, 'Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I'll pay you on my way back.' 36"What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?" 37"The one who treated him kindly," the religion scholar responded. Jesus said, "Go and do the same." Luke 10:25-37 The Message
O Lord, all my longing is known to you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
Psalm 38:9
A quote for pondering today~
"Suffering is like a pile of rocks. You can choose to carry the load, throw them at someone, just let it lay there, or you can build an altar." Chad Arnold, liver transplant patient
Lord, our longing and suffering is known to you. Nothing about us is hidden from you, and you look on us as precious. Help us to know what to do with our struggles and suffering today. Amen.
" I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life. " 1 John 5:13
I remember the first time I encountered it-- the power of story. I was 10 years old, and I had just seen Star Wars: A New Hope. It was the first time I was truly transported into another realm, and something deep in my soul echoed the themes of dark and light, good and evil. It sounds oddly melodramatic, but I must also say that was the day I knew I wanted to fight on the side of good...no matter what the cost.
Since that time long ago, I've been touched by the power of story in books, in plays and in the movies. On occasion, there are those epic stories which touch the deeper truths of our human story. Those epics that stand out in my lifetime are Madeline L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time", J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings", the "Star Wars" double trilogy, and most recently the books and movies around J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" series. Yes, I did go and see the movie tonight with our daughter. It is almost 4 am as I write now, wide awake and again inspired by an epic story that touched on the deeper 'story' of our lives. (I will pay for the long night, but that's fodder for another day's posting.)
As I re-read "The Deathly Hallows" this past week, and as we saw parts 1 and 2 of movie #7, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", words from another favorite character kept running through my mind. They are the words of Samwise Gamgee, from "The Lord of the Rings- The Two Towers". After a brutally difficult experience where Frodo is ready to give up, Sam encourages Frodo by talking about the powerful stories in their lives.
Sam says, "Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, but they didn't. they kept going because they were holding onto something."
"What are we holding onto Sam?" Frodo asks.
Sam responds "That there's some good in this world Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."
The stories of our lives, and the stories we share as a people, are important. They keep us going when we're ready to turn back, give up, and give in. I believe stories are important for more than the box-office value or the entertainment value. These stories, both great and small, touch us and connect us to the Greatest Story-- the Love story of a creating, redeeming and sustaining God who risks what is most precious for the sake of the lost, the hurting and the broken.
One of the terrible lies of Chronic illness is the lie trying to convince us our physical or mental illness means we no longer have a place in the story-- that somehow our part has ended; our part of the story no longer matters. In fact, the opposite is true. You and I are on the front-lines of the story, encountering the depths and challenges of the wilderness in technicolor every day. Your story matters, and how you live out your story matters, not just to you, but to all of us.
We have the ability to be a beacon of light for others every time we keep going. Every time we get up after falling (literally and figuratively) the courage it takes to do such a brave act makes a difference...others see it. We will have the most difficulty seeing how our story impacts others, but just look around. We are encouraged when someone else digs deep into their spirit and fights for good and rejects the forces of evil. I believe this is not just some 'fairy-tale' language, but it is language woven from the very fabric of our existence. And every once in a while, a great epic story-teller reminds me of this fabulous truth.
The writer of 1 John knew the power of story, and the power of God working in The Story. Today, may we remember we are tied to a bigger story, and the decisions we make, the words we say, and the actions we take all make a difference for good or for ill. What part will you choose to live out in the story today?
God of Story, you remind us through the gift of the arts and literature of our greater connection to humanity and to you. Empower, encourage and enlighten us today to see our connection to the greater history of humanity, and help us to choose well and wisely. Amen.
"Happy are those
who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread,
or sit in the seat of scoffers; but their delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law they meditate day and night. They are like trees
planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season,
and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper." Psalm 1: 1-3
One of my daily 'exercises' this summer is walking through the backyard and checking out the growing plants in the morning as my decaf coffee is brewing. You could say it gives me one more thing to look forward to...and to make the effort to get out of bed, because in this heat, getting up gets more challenging. This is our second year with our raspberry bush. I honestly didn't know how successful it might be this year, as we only had 6 berries ripen last year, and the birds beat us to all of those.
This year I was determined to get those berries before the birds, and the morning garden check has helped with that. These daily garden walks have taught me some things:
a) when raspberries are ripe they can be gently pulled from the bush. If they're not quite ripe they are hard to pull off without breaking apart. When something is fully ready, it is much easier to grab hold of it.
b) Even one day of ripening makes a huge difference. I'm amazed how just one day can ripen so many berries that were not close to ripe the day before. Persistence and patience has paid off in delicious ways.
c) Growth happens below ground in ways that I can't see, and it bears wonderful fruit. Getting enough water, nutrients, sun and pruning pays off. Much of the growth of the plant happens in ways I cannot notice, but small changes make a big difference.
These raspberry lessons have encouraged me, as I've been frustrated with waiting for health, or becoming impatient with having few visible results in the health changes I've made. The raspberries remind me that as we tend to our physical, mental and spiritual health every day, God brings the fruit of those efforts. It can be very slow, sometimes taking years, but what comes is a rich, sweet blessing in our lives. Do not give up on your daily efforts, for although we cannot see roots digging deep into the soil, those same deep roots give strength, and nourishment.
Creative God, your creation reminds us that there are seasons of growth and seasons of harvest even in our own lives. While growing seems slow, give us the patience and wisdom to dig deep and grow stronger in faith, wisdom and health, so we may enjoy the fruits of the hard work. Amen.
"He put before them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. 27And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, “Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?” He answered, “An enemy has done this.” The slaves said to him, “Then do you want us to go and gather them?” But he replied, “No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”’ Matthew 13:24-30 NRSV
I apologize for yesterday's silence. We had a sleep-over of 10 year olds the night before, and while the kids were just great-- I don't do lack of sleep very well anymore. Had thoughts for the blog but too wiped out to write yesterday.
Yesterday morning I escaped the house... I mean, I went for my daily morning stroll of the yard and garden :-) and went to check on some herbs I'd planted in the 'back 40'. A week or two ago, my husband mentioned that there were just weeds sprouting up, and did I want him to till it all back under. I shared with him this parable by Jesus, and that I was approaching the weeds in the same way. I meant it, and thought it would make some sense to let things grow a bit more before I would start pulling. However, standing there in the garden and seeing just a sea of weeds, I wondered at the wisdom of following Jesus' parable for my gardening tips. Now, really, I know that Jesus meant much more than just farming tips when he taught.
Looking at the amount of weeds, I felt the futility of trying to overcome the weeds. But because I'm stubborn, (and didn't want to admit to my husband that my comment on the parables was really a way to stall on weeding!) I started slowly pulling weeds. With sweat dripping off my nose, and dizziness coming close behind, I was about to give up when I saw it. It was a plant I didn't recognize. It was not a weed, but one of the herbs I'd planted. If I would have just dug it all up with a hoe, I would have missed these healthy plants growing.
Now, I have to say that there are just a few good plants and a lot of weeds, but the whole experience taught me a couple of things: in thinking of chronic illness, it struck me that in our wilderness struggle we too can be overcome by difficult symptoms-- the weeds, if you will. But these 'weeds' can eventually help us distinguish the path to health. Yesterday I also heard that a friend who has been experiencing unknown health problems had to be hospitalized, and because of the difficulties, the doctors were able to find what may be wrong and may now have more of a path to helping her feel better. My prayers continue for you, and for all of us who wrestle with the weeds of un-health.
I also realized that, like weeding my garden, there are many times when I can't do it all at once, but must word a day at a time, a bit at a time to help the healthy parts grow. After three years, there are times when I'm not sure anymore what 'health' even looks like, and so when I see that unfamiliar plant of health growing in me, it takes care and nurture to figure out how to keep it growing.
The other thing that struck me strongly was how patient, wise and infinately more gracious God is-- as Jesus shared in the parable. God has the ability to take what looks like a mess, and let growing happen in ways that I cannot always understand, and often would rebel against. God's wisdom is greater my wisdom, even when it seems and feels like I'm only growing weeds in my life.
Today I will take the garden, and my life, one step at a time. Weed a bit more, and nurture what I can, and pray that God may give me patience to do this in my life as well as in my garden.
God of Growth and Grace, this wilderness can be so overwhelming sometimes as we feel lousy, and it may seem that only the weeds of un-health are growing around us. Give us the eyes to see the tender shoots of health that you plant in our lives, and help us patiently, carefully nurture them. Amen.
" And God said, ‘Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the dome of the sky.’ So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which the waters swarm, and every winged bird of every kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them, saying, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.’ And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day. And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and creeping things and wild animals of the earth of every kind.’ And it was so. God made the wild animals of the earth of every kind, and the cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground of every kind. And God saw that it was good. " Genesis 1:20-25 NRSV
While letting our big fuzzy beasties outside this morning (also known as our two female Mastiffs, Peaches and Peanut) I heard a sound that I've usually only heard in the woods. We have a wonderful tree-frog somewhere nearby. It was delightful to hear the unique and rich sound of this creature -- even over the usual morning barking of our dogs :-)
It made me think of the various critters and birds that have graced our property lately. The tiny bunny that has now grown big and fat on our garden lettuce and broccoli; the cardinal that I've seen quite a bit near our front porch window; the enormous moth with markings on its back that looked like eyes, that had rested on our porch floor one day; the woodpecker that is hunting bugs in our tree, and now this tiny tree-frog with the huge voice. We live in town, so it is rather uncommon to see some of these things as regularly as we have.
One odd gift of having to move slower, and rest more is that I see more things than I used to. In the past I would have walked by the moth and missed it, or have been thinking about what I had to accomplish next, and missed the sound of the tree-frog. These 'sightings' of God's creatures great-and-small help me on days like today, when my body just aches and I'm feeling very out of sorts. These other parts of creation help me remember that I'm connected to something bigger than myself, and that God's tender care encompasses the tiniest, most fragile creature as well as the big, furry beasties. (-- it depends on the day and my mood as to what category I put myself in there! LOL)
I am aware that some on this blog are experiencing pain, great discomfort, and even hospitalization today-- my prayers are with you. I also invite us all to take a minute or two and look around us, outside or through the windows. There may be something we've not seen before, or something we see everyday, but that we see in a new way today. May God's creation nurture our spirits today~
Holy Creator, I lose sight sometimes of the miracle of your creation. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear today. Help me to see your fingerprints and the signs of your love in what you have created. Amen.
"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." Matthew 5:33-37
I have to admit that I have a problem with "yes" and "no". My problem is that I say "yes" too often, and "no" too rarely. This came to mind recently as someone asked me to do something. My immmediate reaction was "Yes". The person was someone I had a lot of respect for, and the task was something I used to really enjoy. As they spelled out the duties of the task, I began to realize that I didn't have the ability any further to do such a thing. Physicall, and mentally, it was not something I would be able to complete.
I find it striking that I even was able to say 'no' at all. In the past I would have ignored that voice of concern, and just made it happen, no matter how I would have to push through health issues, but it would leave me weary, frustrated at myself and in even worse physical shape. I would ignore the signs, and just keep going because I thought it was the right thing to do. Occasionally, I'd say I'd do something, but then wouldn't. These responses came, I believe out of a desire to be seen as nice, helpful, and perhaps even some idea of 'Christian'. I suspect I'm not alone in these actions, but that many of us are motivated to do things to be seen in a good light.
Jesus' words about religious language really convict my heart today. How many times have I said I would pray, and then didn't? How many times did I couch my answer in religious language so that it made me sound better? ...more times than I want to admit.
One of the gifts of chronic illness is that the physical, mental and emotional toll of long-term illness forces us to get real about our abilities and our limitations, our williness and our failings. The event the other day made me face the fact that I can not do what I used to do...at least not right now. I don't like having to say 'no' to the people I love and respect, but it is important at times that I do. Saying 'no' is an important way for me to take care of myself, and to keep my priorities straight in this wilderness. If I want to be able to say yes to some things- like seeing our kids graduate High School, and living a longer healthier life, then I need to say 'no' to some other things that may fall differently in the categories.
I'm also coming to learn that by saying 'no', my 'yes' is becoming stronger and more believable. By being clear about yes and no, I'm becoming a more honest person, and that is a gift.
Is there a 'no' in your life that needs to be said? What is it? What are the ramifications of saying 'no'? What are the ramifications of saying 'yes'? Whatever your answer needs to be, know that it all falls into the blessed grace of the Lord who walks this wilderness with us.
Holy Lord, 'yes' and 'no' can sometimes challenge us. It can be difficult to see what the best answer is sometimes. Today let us make healthy, life-giving answers...whether that answer be 'yes' or 'no'. Amen.
" For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall be to the Lord for a memorial, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. " Isaiah 55:10-13
These words through the prophet Isaiah to the Babylonian captives living in desert exile were surprising words of hope. While many of us may be used to snow and rain and may take it for granted, these desert dwellers knew the vital need for snow and rain and how it could transform the landscape.
But the promise here is not for the weather, but that the Word of the Lord would make good the promises of God. God's word would accpomlish God's purposes. This is a very common understanding in Hebrew, for the word used when God speaks is the word 'dabar'- which means to speak AND to do. In other words, when God speaks, it is as good as done. God's promises are THAT sure, THAT certain, that to not be done is not even an option.
These words retain their promise for our time as well. As we wander the desert of Chronic illness, there are times when all around us (and even inside us) can be a barren wasteland. However, these words from Isaiah remind us that the nurturing of the wilderness is not up to us. As we spend time in God's word, we are promised that God will work God's promises and transform our wilderness.
As God's Word flows over us, there is a reason, a purpose for how it interacts in our lives. God's word will make a difference-- not because we're so brilliant (although you are ! :-) but God's word will make a difference because of who God is. God's word to us is as good as action.
Today I encourage you to spend some time in God's word. Let the words and the hope and compassion and love wash over you like a spring rain, and let your weary dry parts of your spirit soak up the abundant care God wants you to have.
Extravagant God, you send your love to wash over us every minute of every day. Too often we find ourselves hungry and thirsty for you as we walk in this chronic illness desert. Help us to receive the nurturing care that you give, and help us to bloom right where we are today. Amen.
"And David danced before the LORD with all his might." 2 Samuel 6:14a
Today's post is a lively one. Move as you are able, even if it means moving your attitude rather than your body~ To my U.S. readers~ Happy Independence Day
"For this reason they are before the throne of God,
and worship him day and night within his temple,
and the one who is seated on the throne will shelter them. They will hunger no more, and thirst no more;
the sun will not strike them,
nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the centre of the throne will be their shepherd,
and he will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ " Revelation 7:15-17
"For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption." Romans 8:15
The theme of adoption in the book of Romans is one that has always touched my heart deeply, particularly as adoption has been part of my own family growing up. As I've seen family members and parishoners adopt children of all ages and backgrounds and experiences, I've learned so much more about love~ and it has expanded my understanding of God's love exponentially.
This music video by Third Day touched my heart in a hopeful, loving way and I hope you enjoy it.
peace,
Andrea
ps- with the heat of the weekend predicted here, as well as the holiday, I'm going to be taking a couple of days break from writing, but will be posting some new video reflections every day, and will keep you in my prayers.
"I wait for the Lord, m soul waits and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5 NIV
Almighty, loving God, through Jesus you show us that your love and compassion for your people is real. We pray for all who hurt and face difficult struggles today. Hold them in the hollow of your hand, and keep them safe in your tender care. Encourage the weary and uplift the wounded. Amen.
