Yes and No

"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." Matthew 5:33-37

I have to admit that I have a problem with "yes" and "no".  My problem is that I say "yes" too often, and "no" too rarely.  This came to mind recently as someone asked me to do something. My immmediate reaction was "Yes".  The person was someone I had a lot of respect for, and the task was something I used to really enjoy.  As they spelled out the duties of the task, I began to realize that I didn't have the ability any further to do such a thing. Physicall, and mentally, it was not something I would be able to complete.

I find it striking that I even was able to say 'no' at all.  In the past I would have ignored that voice of concern, and just made it happen, no matter how I would have to push through health issues, but it would leave me weary, frustrated at myself and in even worse physical shape. I would ignore the signs, and just keep going because I thought it was the right thing to do. Occasionally, I'd say I'd do something, but then wouldn't. These responses came, I believe out of a desire to be seen as nice, helpful, and perhaps even some idea of 'Christian'.  I suspect I'm not alone in these actions, but that many of us are motivated to do things to be seen in a good light.

Jesus' words about religious language really convict my heart today. How many times have I said I would pray, and then didn't?  How many times did I couch my answer in religious language so that it made me sound better?  ...more times than I want to admit.

One of the gifts of chronic illness is that the physical, mental and emotional toll of long-term illness forces us to get real about our abilities and our limitations, our williness and our failings. The event the other day made me face the fact that I can not do what I used to do...at least not right now.  I don't like having to say 'no' to the people I love and respect, but it is important at times that I do.  Saying 'no' is an important way for me to take care of myself, and to keep my priorities straight in this wilderness.  If I want to be able to say yes to some things-  like seeing our kids graduate High School, and living a longer healthier life, then I need to say 'no' to some other things that may fall differently in the categories. 

I'm also coming to learn that by saying 'no', my 'yes' is becoming stronger and more believable.  By being clear about yes and no, I'm becoming a more honest person, and that is a gift. 

Is there a 'no' in your life that needs to be said?  What is it?  What are the ramifications of saying 'no'?  What are the ramifications of saying 'yes'?  Whatever your answer needs to be, know that it all falls into the blessed grace of the Lord who walks this wilderness with us.

Holy Lord, 'yes' and 'no' can sometimes challenge us.  It can be difficult to see what the best answer is sometimes.  Today let us make healthy, life-giving answers...whether that answer be 'yes' or 'no'.  Amen.