Fed

13  Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns.  14  When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick.  15  When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves."  16  Jesus said to them, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat."  17  They replied, "We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish."  18  And he said, "Bring them here to me."  19  Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds.  20  And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full.  21  And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children. 
Matthew 14:13-21 NRSV

 Having preached on and taught this lesson for many years, there are many ideas that jump out at me from the past. But the goal of this blog is to look at things from a Chronic Hope perspective-- to look with different eyes than I've used for the past 18 years...


The first thing that strikes me about this portion of scripture is that the people are desperate. They are searching for Jesus, and even go looking for him when he has removed himself from the 12, and from everyone else.  They had been to the local healers, and priests, and there was nothing more that those folks could do for them.  All the traditional means were exhausted. They were searching and they were desperate. They heard he was in the area and they left home, traveled various distances and hoped to get close to him....hoped that he might heal them or a loved one.


Many of us know this desperation, don't we-- or something like it? As I read some reports on POTS and Dysautonomia sites, or on PTSD or Chronic Fatigue, MS, MD, Bipolar,(and the list goes on) story after story is told of folks who exhausted themselves and resources searching for answers.  There is understandably a sense of desperation that comes when a diagnosis doesn't come, or when initial treatments fail.  Even in this day and age of the greatest medical knowledge, technology and resources in history there are many folks who are told that there is nothing more that can be done.  Some have been told that they just have to "live with it", or, more problematic, that it's "all in their head".  For those that eventually are given a diagnosis, or who find a knowledgeable doctor who is able to help them understand their condition, even if not manage it well, that doctor is miraculous, and a gift. 
It is helpful to spell all this out as we look at Jesus and the interaction with the crowd. I think we may have some insight into what these folks were feeling as they sought out Jesus-- a fact that until now , for me, was usually just a  'lead-up' to the real story.  But Jesus is God incarnate-  God in the flesh.  The real story here is that when Jesus interacts with them he interacts fully.  He sees them and has compassion and heals people.  Out of that full engagement with people, we then see the extravagant grace of God pour out through the feeding of the 5,000.  (Or probably closer to 15,000 if you count the women and children)  It makes sense, doesn't it, that Jesus has them sit, and he feeds them from a few fish and a bit of bread, the equivalent of a snack for a boy?  After all, the same power that glorified God in the feeding of the multitude, is the power that healed the 'unhealable', had compassion on the desperate, and poured out love on those who were fighting their illness alone. How else would Jesus act?


It also makes sense from a wholly (holy!) generous perspective that the one who extravagantly fed the crowd that day would then turn around and become bread for the world- his body broken, and his blood poured out for all people.  Wherever you may feel like you fit into this story-- as the desperate one seeking help, or the healed one, or the one who is filled to overflowing with a surprise--- may you know the extravagant care, compassion and sustaining love of God wherever you may be.


Generous God, look with compassion upon all who are desperate and all who call upon you. Reach out your hand and nurture and feed the bodies and spirits of all in need of your tender care.  Amen.