"This is so much lighter than I remember. Oh, yeah...I'm stronger!"
It's funny how, in the midst of normal, everyday conversation, God speaks through those around us. It was a simple task...my 10 year old son and I went to the basement to get the Quesadilla maker (yes, we have something to melt cheese in tortillas! - His favorite food!!) I was feeling pretty off and dizzy, so I asked him to carry it up the stairs.
That's when the words broke through the fog. Our son was just commenting on the Quesadilla maker, but God put those words right into my heart. First, I was just amused at my son's reflection on his own strength-- it made me smile. But then I realized that it was a much greater truth that I was hearing. We do get stronger, even when we aren't aware of it.
Going through the wilderness of Chronic illness, in the midst of daily struggles that buffet us like a desert sandstorm, it is hard to see our own growth. For those who have been on this journey for years, or who have a progressive illness, it is likely even more difficult to see the growth. Our human eyes often only see in physical strength terms. Of course there is no way that I am physically stronger than I was 3 years ago. However, to have the strength to move through this wilderness, one needs so much more than physical strength...mental, emotional and spiritual fortitude are essential here-- and this wilderness is exactly the place where we develop those kinds of powerful strengths.
There are parts of this illness journey that used to knock me flat emotionally before that I barely give second thought to now. And the combination of 'things' I'm facing at the present time-- I'm not sure I could have handled them with patience and endurance before. Like comparing a long-distance runner and a sprinter, our strength and endurance on this journey is measured differently than much of the rest of the world measures patience and endurance in illness.
You are stronger than you know. What you are facing now will be lighter the next time you face it. And just perhaps, what you are facing today seems a bit lighter... because you are stronger now.
Whatever you are facing, remember you do not need to face it alone. Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)
Lord, sometimes our burdens are very heavy, and we wonder how we could ever be strong enough to carry them. Show us today how you have already been with us in the past, and have helped us grow. Remind us, through everyday, ordinary things that you are with us, and you will supply the Grace to face each day. Give us encouragement, and help us to find the rest and strength we need for today. Amen.
2 comments:
I awoke yesterday morning feeling like I had fallen down a flight of stairs and ended up in a cement mixer. Needless to say I ached everwhere. Where 'it' came from I didn't know. Later that day visiting my 'Respite " patient we compared our days and found them very similar-really achey. We blamed it on the wet weather and barometeric pressure and found comfort that someone else was having a bad day--it wasn't in our minds.Visited a neighbor on way home who's struggles with Limes disease for over 6 years and commenting on our 'day' he too was having a painful one. Told him of our 'theory' and he agreed and joined us in finding some relief that he wasn't alone in his miserable. The phrase "Misery loves comfort" springs to mind, but in a different concept. We didn't want a 'pity party', but just being helped knowing someone else was /has shared your pain. This is how I see what Jesus tells us when He says He'll take our troubles-- because He's "been there" and is a comrade in pain.
Lois,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. Having someone else whom you can share with whemn you're having a rough day is really important. Your honesty with others and the honesty and trust that they shared back is really key, I think, as we travel this chronic illness wilderness.
I appreciated your reflection on Jesus being a comrade in pain because he's been there. It does help to rmember that our Lord is with us and understands even our most difficult days intimately, and he's willing to ease the burden and share our pain. What an amazing thing!
Thannk you for your post, and for continuing to read and participate in this blog~
Andrea
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