To be, or not to be...grouchy!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7  NRSV 

After 21 years of marriage, my husband should have a shirt that says "Sometimes I wake up grouchy, other mornings I let her sleep."
He is a morning person, I am not.  We got used to that a long time ago, and for the most part I simply get up and stumble through my mornings in a half-daze.  And then there are mornings like this morning, where he and the kids encounter "grouchy" me.

Every single thing that happens gets  used as an excuse for the gruouchiness, and also adds fuel to the fire: dogs underfoot, husband making joke about something, slow moving kids, spills, drips and other kitchen messes-- all things that are very normal in our household on any given morning.  By the time everyone is off to work or school, I find I've got a good head of steam going, and then I just start grumping about whatever crosses my path...and the cycle continues.

What causes these out of the ordinary grouchy days?  Today, for me, it is lack of sleep and extra aches and pains due to the schedule change of getting both kids ready for school, and the switch from our summer schedule to our school-year schedule.  These first weeks are always challenging to navigate.  I know that.  I try to prepare for it, but somehow I still fall into 'grouchland' mode.

I would like to think that this grouchy mode just simply happens, but the truth is, I allow it and I contribute to it.  I have a choice.  St. Paul's words to the church at Philippi are powerful, and it is not about how the people feel, but the focus is upon action.  Rejoice; let your gentleness by known;  do not worry but by prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God-- each of these is a call to action, to make the choice to move from where they may be, to a mindset and skillset of acting that will foster faith in them and in others.

As much as I want to blame the grouchiness of this morning on other things, the reality is that somewhere along the way I made the choice to give in to grouching and focusing upon problems.  I gave in to the idea that this day was going to stink and be difficult and that nothing good could come out of this morning.  In doing so, I made the choice to forget God's saving love that came to me in Christ Jesus, and comes to me fresh every morning...  yep, I said it...I made the choice to forget, and focus on my own upset and grouchiness.

However, when the promises of baptism tell us that we are sealed with the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever, nothing can change that-- not the achiness and weariness of chronic illness; not events in the world around us; not even waking up grouchy. 

This may sound like a petty issue- being grouchy-- but the ability to make a choice to change how we react is not petty.  It can make the difference between being self-absorbed and self-serving to being a person with gentleness to make known to everyone through a servants' heart.  This choice can change the outcome of our day, and I would be bold to suggest, it can change greater things than that.

So what do we do after making the choice to NOT be grouchy (or................--fill in the blank)?

a) admit what you are facing.  Are you upset at something? Are you hurting-- physically or emotionally?  (Pretending that everything is ok while quietly seething is NOT helpful. Being honest about how you are really feeling can be very helpful.)

b.) Make a choice to change.  Choose to change an attitude, a behavior, a way of responding to others' comments.  Just make the choice to change.

c) implement the change-  do you need to take care of what is hurting (take a nap,  make sure you've taken all meds and vitamins that you need, go for a walk or other exercise if able, talk through your upset with a friend, talk to a counselor, meditate or pray).  In other words, do what you need to do to take gentle care of yourself.

d) keep going.  Don't let setbacks in the day turn you back to the way you started the day.

Rejoice, let your gentleness be known, pray.  Focusing upon the God of peace will open up your heart and mind, and will allow for change to take place.

Where are you at today?  I'd love to hear your comments or thoughts  today.  For now, I need to take care of getting a nap, and making the choice to make a move from 'grouchy-land to that place where I can appreciate the gift of life and the beauty of this day and the opportunities that lay ahead.

Lord of all, there are days where the challenges seem to overwhelm us.  It is easy to feel out of control, and to blame mistakes and difficulties on other people and circumstances. Help me today to make the choice to live in the life-giving freedom you offer each day, to address the difficulties head on, take gentle care of myself, and to choose to focus upon the gifts and blessings that you rain upon us everyday.   Amen.