For over 12 years, my most recent calling in ministry has been to congregations in transition. It is called interim ministry, but I like the word transition much better. Interim often gets confused with "intern" and people have often asked me when I'd become a real pastor...18 years ago is my recent answer :-) . Or people associate an interim pastor with that of a substitute teacher, that somehow I'm a "place-holder" until the next pastor comes. Now, in fairness, in some congregations and denominational bodies, that is the purpose interim pastors serve, and often those folks are retired pastors who have experience and want to keep their hand in ministry.
My experience with Interim ministry is quite different from either of those suppositions. Because I have had extensive training in conflict resolution, I've had the incredible privilege of entering the life of congregations when they are facing some of their most difficult times, perhaps the most difficult in their history. As I've alluded to before, chronic illness and interim ministry have some very interesting parallels, and today I'm starting a series that draws upon those parallels and what they have to teach during chronic illness. Today we will look at "weakness".
Now most congregations won't admit they are going through a time where they are feeling weak, but if you listen at all, you can hear their concerns. Folks will apologize to me for what they are facing, and explain to me what they remember in their times of strength. There is often a sense of embarassment that they are in a difficult situation, and wondering "what pastor would come to us now?" And one phrase stands out from a congregaton as a staff member very succinctly reflected, "things will never be the same."
If you are unfamiliar with major changes, transition times can seem like disaster. Everything familiar is gone, and the understanding of how a congregation is valuable and what they have to offer seems to be turned on its ear. Transition, at first, very often seems like an ending.
The benefit of having gone through many (and often multiple) transitions in my own life and in many congregational settings is that I see transition differently. Instead of disaster, I have learned the transition opens a door to new possibilities. Instead of an ending, transition is the rich potential for a new beginning. Instead of things being turned upside down, oddly, there are things that may 'right' themselves for the first time in decades, leaving the congregation in a healthier place.
The scripture for this morning is one of my favorite verses. I could use this same verse for months and it would speak to so many life experiences. St. Paul aslo knew the dynamics of major change. This is the one who was Saul and was transformed into Paul. Through him God worked to change the outreah of the church toward Jews and Gentiles. Saul had been good at what he did-- a highly skilled Pharisee-- but God offered a bigger plan and bigger sense of purpose.
We do not know what ailed Paul, but we know it was difficult, and he fervently prayed it might be removed. In a mind-bending answer, Paul is told that God's grace is suffficient, and that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. The Holy Spirit showed Paul the possibilities that could only come from being broken and reformed by God's loving hand.
Transitions, while we are in the middle of them, often do not feel like the loving hand of God. Quite the opposite. Congregations often felt they were being punished or serving penance when facing transitions.
Grief can also be so strong that for a while it blocks the seeing of any future possibilities.
On a personal level, these same dynamics occur. I remember facing a difficult death in my life. Shortly after I found out about the death, a well-meaning nurse who knew I was a pastor said "This will make you a better pastor". Logically I knew she was right, but emotionally I was nowhere near being able to accept that. I was just angry and hurt over this loss. I remember thinking, "I'd rather be the WORST pastor in the world if I could just get this loved one back..."
Even now, in facing long term illness, there are many days when I find it hard to see the future possibilities. When my body or spirit aches, it is terribly hard to see anything more than what I'm facing now. It is difficult to imagine useful work that God might be able to do through me. It can seem that "things will never be the same" and that often doesn't feel like a good thing at all. That's when it's important for me to trust what I've seen God do in transitions.
Over and over, I have seen God lay new, powerful opportunities before congregations. I've seen God revitalize ministries that seemed to have little life left in them. I've seen God turn around places that I half-expected would close. I've seen God bring new life, over and over again, to congregations that felt they were facing death in the transition.
I suspect this may sound familiar to some of you-- not as a congregational 'thing', but as a very personal thing-- and it is meant to. If you are facing the pain of transition from health to chronic illness, please know, first of all, you are not alone. What you are experiencing is not uniquely strange to you...this is part of the territory of chronic illness. Please also hear that you are not abandoned, but that you are truly precious to God, right now, as you are. And while it may be darn near impossilble to see, we have opportunity in this time. We have opportunity to let go of old images of ourselves and hand ourselves over to see how God may shape our future. We have the opportunity (out of necessity) to try new ways of thinking, new ways of being. As we let go of old ways of life, new possibilities we've never dreamed of can open before us. As we experience being 'weak' compared to what we are used to, God's strength can shine through us in ways we never imagined.
Finally, I share this quote that brings hope and possibility into perspective:
"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly." ~Richard Buckminster Fuller
Lord God, we face times where we trust that you can see what we are becoming, because we are too overwhelmed by what we see in the present. Today we ask you to give us all a glimpse of how your strength is made perfect through our weakness. Help us to know your love, purpose and presence in our lives-- particularly when we are feeling that nothing will ever be the same. Help us to be reassured that you are near especially during the pain of transitions. Amen.
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