Ask

Day 23- Ask

“Ask and it will be given to you; search and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Matthew 7:7 NRSV

Yesterday I had the joy and privilege of finally returning for a farewell reception at the congregation I most recently left.  Back in November when the POTS relapse hit me full-force, I was at church one day, and unable to come back the next.  For weeks I tried to rest and recover enough to return, but could not, and eventually had to resign. It was a very significant ministry for me to be part of, and not the ending I planned or wanted.  Yesterday was an important day.

Yesterday’s trip might not have happened. You see, the church was an hour away, and right now, I am still unable to drive long distances.  I become too tired and too light-headed to drive safely for a long time. Anything over ½ an hour and I need to have someone else take me.  The trip might not have been... well...because I’m stubborn.  

I’m not used to asking for help.  All my life I’ve been strong, determined, independent.  I’ve been the “helper”. If someone needed something, “sure, I can do it”.   If someone needed a ride, or a meal or some kind of support and help, I’d find a way to make it happen.  I like helping, and being the one to support others. 

In the past, when I’d hear Jesus words “Ask…search…knock…”  I would usually think of them in terms of entire congregations as we moved together through transitions.  Knock… and the way will be opened, seek… God’s presence and guidance and you will find it,  ask…and God will show you who the next pastor is that God is calling to serve you.  These were all very powerful  (and true!) understandings of this passage.

Since facing long-term illness, Jesus’ words have taken on a much more personal meaning for me.  I’ve also noticed, because of my stubbornness, the answer has been usually there and offered before I have been able to ask.  Such was the case with attending the farewell this weekend. Last week, a very dear person from the congregation, who has been calling and touching base with me regularly since I left, offered to drive. What they were offering meant four hours on the road for them, in order for me to be able to attend the farewell. 

It was an extravagantly generous offer of this person’s time.  In the past I wouldn’t have considered it. Now, I was presented with an answer even before I shared the need, likely because I would have never asked for such generous help.  I accepted, and the trip up and back was a gift, not only in travel, but in having the luxury of talking with this person one-on-one for two hours. I am deeply grateful that they offered.  I am thoroughly glad I asked for the help. I am even grateful of being put into the position where I had no choice but to ask.  It allowed me to see the grace and love that surrounds us every day.

We may not like having to ask for help. Many of us may be used to being the helper, and not want to be the ‘helpee’.  But in order to do some necessary and important things in living our lives, we likely need help.  Ask.

Are there people in your life who have offered to help you with something?  Ask them to help when you need it. Is there someone who has already seen a need?  Accept and ask for their help—it will bless you both.  Is there a problem that you cannot see the solution to?  Pray and ask—you’ll be amazed at the help that is offered.

Is there someone you can call and support, or encourage, even as you are unable to do some things?  Listen and see how God is still calling you to help others, right now. 

You see, it’s not about always being the helper or the recipient of help, it’s about helping each other as we are able to. The amazing thing is that God is able to weave together the needs with the help in to a beautiful pattern that we only get a glimpse of most days.  Today, I invite us all to ponder how we might continue to be part of  that pattern.  Will we ask?  Will we help?  Will we accept the help that has already been offered?    May we get a peek at that tapestry of God's love and generosity that is all around us.

Lord, you move in the hearts of people in so many generous and loving ways.  Crack open my stubbornness today to receive the generosity of another, even as you move in my heart to share generously of my gifts.  Amen.