Limits

‘Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
   Tell me, if you have understanding.’ Job 38:4

I am not a fan of limitations.  Some limits I’ve known all my life— such as knowing I’d never be a ballerina. (hint: they don’t call me ‘grace’ because of my preaching!)   Other limits I’ve found recently, such as the limit of not being able to eat gluten anymore, or the inability to tolerate heat.

Limits are part of reality for all humans, as we read above in God’s question to Job. I’ve observed that for those with long-term conditions, the limits we encounter are often at different places for us than for others.  For us a weather change, or smell, or sound, or comment from someone, or taking a med at a slightly different time, or any of a number of things that someone else may tolerate easily, can send us reeling.

I encountered such a limit just this morning.  We had a busy and active day yesterday, and I knew I’d be tired and lightheaded today, but I really wanted to go to churchI fought through the discomfort of getting ready and told myself that I had the rest of the day to rest.  I was able to get cleaned up and there on time, only to realize that I couldn’t tolerate even sitting in church this morning due to the lightheadedness and  if I didn’t leave I was risking passing out and feeling much worse.

Like it or not, we all have limits. This was just one of mine, and I’m sure each of you have different ones that trigger difficulties.

So what do we do in the face of these limits?  I think there are several choices.  One choice is to deny or ignore the limit.  There are times when we may have to just push through and not pay attention to a limit.  However, for me, those times are pretty limited, and cannot be added together for too long, or I pay a hefty price.  For a long time I denied that the POTS was affected by stress, and activity and I’d try to do all the things I did before.  In the long run I was hit by a relapse that I couldn’t deny any further.  However, for certain things, like my kid’s ball games, or special events, I may still choose to push through…and pay the price later.

Another choice with limits is to work around the limit.  When denying that I had to be gluten-free no longer worked, I researched recipes and products and started supplying our home with gluten free products that I needed for everyday life.  On days I feel better, I bake up batches of things that I can pop in the toaster, or microwave for those days I can’t bake.  Adapting to the limit can be very helpful.

Then there are limits that we cannot deny or adapt. They are as much a law in our life as gravity.  They are things that often we don’t have control over, such as arms or legs that cannot bend the way they used to, or places and experience we cannot go without triggering nightmares, or environments we cannot be in without risking passing out.  Our life experience right now is different than it used to be.

I’m not saying that we give up or give in. No-- therapies and treatment, exercises, diets and meds can help in many ways. But when we face immovable limits, how do we respond?  I had the choice this morning in worship: to come home and berate myself, grumble or be upset about that limit; or to accept what I couldn’t change for today, and try to change what I could next time, and still love and accept myself in the process.  The God who set the foundations of the earth also loves and accepts us, limits and all, and transforms our lives by his limitless love.

Encountering a limit (which many of us do multiple times a day) gives us the opportunity to make choices that can be compassionate and understanding, or can be destructive and punishing to our bodies and hearts.  What choice will we make today?

A prayer that has meant more to me every day the last 3 years is the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.