Who am I to do this?

“Then the Lord said, ‘I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt; I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters. Indeed, I know their sufferings,…the cry of the Israelites has now come to me; I have also seen how the Egyptians oppress them. So come, I will send you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.’ But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?’ He said, ‘I will be with you;”  Exodus 3: 7, 9-12b NRSV

It has been a month since this blog was started, and that has caused me to reflect. Although you need to know that many things cause me to reflect:  anniversaries, births, a beautiful sunrise, as well as stumbling on the sidewalk, air…  you get the picture!  Reflection, not unusual for me J…

As I look back upon the last month, I am struck by two things:  how helpful it has been for me to have the opportunity to work on daily devotions and put words to some of the struggles and gifts that I’ve found on the path of Chronic illness, and also the overwhelming sense of ‘who am I to be writing this?’.  Moses’ words at the burning bush  came to mind this morning as I ponder all this—not because I feel some great call to free a people, nor because I think of myself as a Moses-type figure, but because the honesty of his question resonates in my heart.

Moses had been raised a prince of Egypt, and after having to flee Egypt for murder in protection of an Israelite, he found himself tending sheep in Midian. Not anything he probably ever had seen as part of his future.  God calls him to take action. Moses’ response was some thing like “are you sure?  I can’t speak very well. Certainly someone else can do this better. Who am I to do this?”

Perhaps you’ve heard yourself sounding like Moses.  Maybe an opportunity, or a situation has called upon you to take action, and you were more un-certain of yourself than anything. You may be even facing something in your life like this now, on a large or small scale.

Over the past several days as I’ve wrestled with exhaustion and physical pain and all the fun that comes with that set of ‘twins’,  I’ve been asking Moses’ question in relationship with this blog.  Who am I to be writing devotions for folks with Chronic illness?  I’m not a medical professional, I’m not an expert in chronic illnesses, heck… I’m not even feeling well most of the time right now.

The amazing answer God gave Moses, and God gives us all is “I will be with you.”  God worked through Moses, warts and all.  And the word to you and to me is that God can utilize our frailties and our failings in ways we can never picture in order to give hope, encouragement and freedom to others. 

The only requirements it seems, for Moses, and for us are to listen and to trust.  Moses ‘turned aside to see this thing (burning bush)’ and then listened.  Then he trusted God’s direction.

In the midst of our daily lives, and for those with long term illnesses – our daily struggles, God continues to call us to listen and trust.  Listen to where and how God wants to work through us, and trust that, while we cannot fathom how it may work, God can—and will—touch the lives of others in ways that we couldn’t touch if we were in some other circumstance.

No, I’m not a doctor, and I don’t even play one on TV.  I’m a middle-aged woman wrestling with the uncertainties and difficulties of health problems while being a wife and mother, and pastor on disability.  I have also had a history of trying to listen to and trust God.  Qualified to write a blog? Not hardly.  In the right place and time, and willing to try?  Yes.

I would love to explore with you how God may be working in your life to utilize who and what you are, in order to help others. I'd love to hear your story...

Andrea